Teens having sex in parents home
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| Thu, 12-28-2006 - 12:12am |
I know many parents oppose this, but whats wrong with allowing your teen to sleep with their
boyfriend/girlfriend at your house? I mean most kids nowadays have sex at 16 anyway.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that they should be allowed to have sex with anyone. But for example, I've told my daughter that she can't date until she's 16. But once she's 16 I don't really mind her having sex. I mean I want to raise a decent girl. I encourage her to wear modest clothing. I don't want her to go out wearing revealing clothing, bring any guy home and have sex with him.
But for ex. if shes been seeing him for a while and they're serious about each other, and of course I've met the guy and feel comfortable with him, I wouldn't mind if she had sex with him in my home.
I'm pretty open about sex and I've talked to her about condoms and birth control. I know they don't guarantee 100% but they are very effective.
I mean doesn't that sound much more reasonable than to completely ban them from having sex in your house?

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Ahh, but you can stop it from happening every night in your house (and I believe that would be the request once you started allowing it.) And just possibly a night or two of doing it in the back seat of the car might even be a wake-up call. At least they won't be so comfortable.
Fewer times would be fewer chances for pregnancy, STD's.
I met my first husband when we were 17. We were sleeping together in his house with the blessing of his mother. We were married and divorced within the year. Her wedding present to us was a 1/2 ounce of weed. Why should I have looked elsewhere for the right guy? I thought she was so cool.
I also thought the first thing that Daddio said, I was just giving it a chance since you're so well-spoken.
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Yes, I believe I am showing them my beliefs in the matter
And, I always wonder if it doesnt help stop things from getting worse. The jury is out on that one. If I am upset when my very academically capable son gets Cs and give consequences, yet he STILL comes home with Cs, is it truly a total waste of my time OR, if I had ignored it, would the grades have gone down to Ds and Fs??
No way to know for sure.....
In the same vein, I wonder if 'not in my home' slows down the process at all? Maybe not, but I still feel I have done what I could and should do
And avoided going to "if this is okay, is bringing Jeff home for sex on a first date okay?" or "mom/dad, Jennifer's parents wont let her have Sean over-can they spend some time here?"
Again, I dont KNOW that but my gut says its a slippery slope I would rather avoid
There's really nothing wrong with sex, per se. I think we as a society tend to blow the issue of sex out of proportion and therefore lend more importance to it, in a relationship, than it really should have. Sex can either be a meaningless act of pleasure a la one night stand or an integral part of a deeper relationship with someone. Either way, teens are fully capable of experiencing sex in either manner. Think back to your own adolescence, with a true honesty of how you felt, and you'd acknowledge this.
But I agree with the one poster who said that whatever way you choose to handle sex, you best be emotionally and physically and spiritually prepared to deal with the consequences. Its the rare and exceptional 16 yo boy OR girl who are in this position. Sex is POWERFUL stuff.
But that aside, teenagers do and will decide for themselves whether to have sex or not despite the best intentions of their parents. That's just the way life goes. And, call me old fashioned, but I think there is nothing wrong with making it *that* much more difficult for them to make that step. Hormones will lead before rational thought and if there is a nice comfy bed in a nice warm, understanding household the hormones will win out for sure. But if they have to go through all the trouble of figuring out the complicated logistics of where to have sex when there is no bed, no basement couch and no car back seat then maybe all the effort will allow some common sense to creep in.
Your daughter has a lifetime to have sex with the wrong guys, find wonderful lovers, awful lovers and maybe someday find a partner with whom the sex clicks within a larger relationship. She needs to grow as a human being and make sure she is making the right choices for the right reasons. As a mom THIS is what you should be nurturing -- not a nice place for her to have sex...
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