teens weight problems

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
teens weight problems
4
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 11:46pm
Does anybody have a teen with a weight problem? How do you handle it. My 14 year old has gone to weight loss camp three years and loves it. She just said next summer she wants to increase the time she stays there. She said before she wants to go back until she gets to maintenance--which means she is normal weight. So, I said to her that would be great if you stayed longer as then you would get to maintenance. I could tell I insulted her. She said you think I'm fat--I just want to stay because it's fun. I was mistaken. I'm not bringing up weight again. I have to let her face this with the camp's help, or she will think I'm being critical. Am I the only one with a dd who is overweight? Her sister who is thirteen is very thin. Go figure? No pun. But my husband and I both have weight problems. Anybody who has experience with this would be someone I would love to hear from ...Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 6:49am

I would appologize if you hurt her feelings. You just want to see her reach her goal of getting to maintance, just like you do any other goal she may have in life. Then tell her that you will do whatever she would like you to to help. Make sure you say "what she would like you to do" as you want her in charge of her weight. Not to feel like you are pushing her.

What does she do between summers? Is she active? Play sports? Dance class? Aerobics class? Does she see a nutritionist?

stacy

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 8:01am
I understand what you mean. I would appologise for what you said, everyone slips up now and then, so don't dwell on it. My dd did get quite hefty for a bit. She has lost some, but she can eat like a truck driver, if I let her. Dh and I strugle with weight issues too, so we know what we are talking about. My dd is quite active, we all are, but still just eat too much. My ds is thin too, go figure.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 12:02pm

This is going to seem funny - the first two things you post about are things that I have BTDT experience. My DD16 (the same one who has curly hair that she straightened for awhile) was overweight from 10-13 - and now works daily to keep the weight off. What worked for her was the WeightWatchers program - I was doing WW when she was younger, so I taught her the program. The gist of it is a food "budget" - you get so many points in a day, then figure out what you're going to "spend" those points on. You can eat pizza, for example, but it's 6 points. If you have 22 points in a day or 24 or whatever, it's a big proportion of your points - and you probably can't have that AND fries on the same day. It's a very practical program that teaches you to be balanced in your eating - what appeals to a teen is the idea of CHOICE - no one is telling you what you can or can't eat - it's up to you to decide how to spend your points.

She also joined a gym - adding exercise in has helped her maintain her weight, while giving her more flexibility in food choices.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 12:30pm

DH and I are both overweight(I have lost 19 pounds since this spring-yahoo-still a long way to go)

Our kids are thin with the exception of DS2 putting on some weight his first year of college(which he lost this summer)

So I dont have the BTDT experience as a parent but I was overweight for part of my teen years and I think anything you say is going to be wrong. It's such a sensitive topic at any age but especially at THAT age.

I am overweight-I know it and I admit it but still....every once in awhile someone noticing hurts me. It makes no sense at all; its beyond reason but it's there! We ordered shirts for work and the person doing the ordering was very tactfully trying to say "XL for you"(shes a social worker by trade for heavens sake)and it almost had me in tears. Yes, I needed the XL but her noticing hurt in that 'makes no sense' way

So, I think you may just have to accept that talking about it is going to be painful :(

And you know the best thing you can do is cook healthy and exercise as a family all year round. Summer camp-although she enjoys it-can only be part of it

If I could go back, one thing I would do differently is find more physical things to do as a family. We did the sports stuff which meant the kids worked hard and we sat on our butts in the bleachers or in the car driving them to tourneys. We did some skill work when they were young but it wasnt long before they were really beyond our skills. We should have been biking, hiking, kayaking...... Would have served us all better than the route we chose.