Texting Addiction

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
Texting Addiction
17
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 11:49am

I now know that

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 2:10pm

Elc,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 2:46pm
Hugs, Con. Please don't leave the board. We all need to vent sometimes. We all have different family dynamics and we all do the best we can as parents. I certainly have no room to offer advice - all of you 'old timers' know that my boys have been far from perfect! And I can certainly understand your need for some space from your ds - you're not the first person who couldn't wait for their kid to go away to school!
Pam
Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 3:06pm

I don't know about a break from the board (its good to have someplace to vent) but maybe back off from controlling your ds? You've already taken away the phone so for the sake of consistency leave that as is. But maybe this is the time to institute the suggestions that Rose made, about making him more responsible for himself. I don't know how involved you are with the details of his existence, if you micro-manage him etc. but maybe you should put most of the responsibility on his shoulders?

I was a micro-manager because my kids seemed to need it, but in turn they took that to absolve them of personal responsibility to some degree. Somehow I got the idea to start making ds be responsible for himself when 12th grade started, which was pretty nerve-wracking at times, but if nothing else it was a good exercise in letting go for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 4:39pm

I tended to be more of a hands off parent than a lot of people here, I know--some of it is probably laziness and being a single working mother, I'm sure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2012
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 5:23pm

Hi Conmama - I am a really new poster to this board, so I don't know your hx.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 5:37pm

Usually I'm of the mind that kids who aren't responsible don't get more freedom, but *sometimes* that freedom is necessary for their development and your own sanity.

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Fri, 04-27-2012 - 9:45am
Con - as you know, we've shared one same problem, and honestly with ds19 'away' at school (8 miles away but on campus), we told him we don't want to know, we don't want it at home, we don't want to talk about it (for him it's the only thing he's found that works for severe back pain relief - and believe me, we've tried doctors, pain specialists, chiropractors, physical therapists, etc.) He knows we won't stand up for him if anyone finds anything, nor co-sign on an off-campus apartment. So anyway, I just don't hear about it and honestly you cannot believe how much easier that makes life.

And as mentioned before, in his case, it was great for him to be on his own - he finally likes school (loved grade and middle but HATED hs) and in fact is doing very well, now with a job there, a summer internship in his field, and also taking, by choice, a class at the local CC this summer. He has a gf he's head over heels with that he met there, and they hope it lasts forever. College really was a huge turnaround for him, in a very good way. Hang in there.

Sue

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