Those with 2 children do you wish

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2006
Those with 2 children do you wish
8
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 10:04am
you had more now? I need some sage advice from those who have btdt... I have a 2 and 3 year old right now and am pondering a 3rd or more... and not sure I am up for more sleepless nights etc... But, I was just wondering if those with more experience still like just having 2 kids. I realize that it is all you know, but I am just trying to see how hectic life with 2 is when they are teens etc... Thanks for any advice you could provide!
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 10:36am

Of course, everyone's temperament and limits are different - only you know what you can handle.

A few years ago when mine were about 14 and 12, H and I considered and even tried briefly to get pregnant, but it didn't work and by that time I was just turning 40 and decided that I didn't want to start all over. Had they been as young as yours are now, I may have tried longer. Anyway, shortly thereafter, H had a vasectomy and only once in a blue moon do I get a 'baby twinge', then it passes. Since mine are so close to starting thier own lives, I'm actually looking forward to becoming more of a consultant with my daughters and stepping down from that ultra responsible-for-them-24-7-role of full time mom.

My youngest has been my challenging child and while she's finally maturing and moving away from her recklessness, I am still recovering (LOL) so I like the idea that there isn't another one on the way up to take her place, if you know what I mean. It's a comfort to know that my kids are mini-adults and we can converse about almost anything, we can share jokes and stories, we don't have to constantly worry about saying the wrong things in front of them anymore and the house doesn't need to be baby-proofed. I can go to sleep without worry that I might be up at 2AM with a croupy cough or have to call out for work because my child is sick, again. I like that by the time I am 50, my kids SHOULD be self sufficient and I will be FREE! My money will be all mine and I won't have to plan all my vacation time around thier school schedules.

Now when I get the 'baby twinge' I just think that I can wait a few more years and I will once again have babies in my life - between my neices and nephews and my own children, there's a whole other generation of babies coming up - and the best part is, I don't have to do anything with them except play!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 10:42am

There have been plenty of times I wished I'd had another, possibly two more. My DD is almost 15, and my DS 12+ so they are pretty independent. I don't MISS having a baby at all, but since we don't live near any family and don't have much in the way of friends where we live now, I often think that having a larger family would take away the loneliness we feel sometimes. And I think how much fun holidays will be when they are all grown and gone with families of their own and they bring everyone home!

My DS has a friend with 6 children in the family ... 5 boys and 1 girl (the baby). Whenever DS goes to visit his friend, the house is total CHAOS! But in a good, fun way, kwim?

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 11:19am
From the time we talked about kids DH and I always wanted 2.
Pam
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 11:30am

One of my best friends has 5 kids ranging in ages 12 up to 21. Her house is always moving and lots of stuff going on - total chaos, but in a good way. Rarely is she ever home and the house is empty. She's always on the go, always at the end of her rope, always has at least one highly stressful thing going on in her life, always broke, but strangely, almost always okay with it all.

I am the youngest of 5, but all my siblings were much older than me. I was a surprise. I didn't like he chaos growing up and I'm happy with my two, the peacefulness and structure of our lives. I don't think I would have been able to be as good a mom if I had more kids. Some can do it, some can't I guess.

However, when they are all grown and away it would be awesome to have a HUGE houseful of families at holiday times!

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 2:02pm

I am quite content with the two I have. I started a *little* late in having babies, but that didn't really factor in with my not wanting more. When I was in my early 20s, I was pretty positive I didn't even *want* children! LOL Obviously, that feeling changed somewhat, but more than two would've just been more than I could do, I think. But that's just me.

Actually, once the boys became teens, life kinda slowed down for me. Up until then, there was the constant watching where they were playing and what they were doing, driving here and there for various activities, and the thousand other things that seemed to be going on all at once. I still watch what they are doing, but I don't have to stand outside while they ride their bikes, or watch them walk to the neighbor's house. They are just more independent now. The boys are also 4.5 years apart, so their activities practically *never* coincided. Plus, by the time the younger son was 2, I was a single mom and it could get a little harried. But again, that is just *my* life, and how my life plays out has nothing to do with anyone else's life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2003
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 4:25pm
Get a kitten or a puppy - that will cure your twinge!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2001
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 11:03pm
Don't know if I'm your typical 2-kid family... my husband & I have 2 kids: The older dd is 14, our younger dd is 3. This year I've got a child in High School and a child in Pre-School. Do I ever wish I had more??? Nope. I'm kinda liking this 11-year spread. (c:
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2001
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 11:15pm

But does having a big family guarantee that they'll be close when they're grown? I've got 3 brothers and a sister. I haven't talked to any of them in months...

DH's family, on the other hand - we talk to them all the time. It's nice and all but... coming from a distant family - being with one that is so close sometimes drives me nuts!

Is that weird????