Too young for the big boys?
Find a Conversation
Too young for the big boys?
| Fri, 07-06-2007 - 3:21pm |
We have been wishing since my son was born 13 years ago that some kids would move into our neighborhood. Well, this week we found out that the son of our neighbor has come to live with her. We met "J" briefly last Christmas holiday and he seemed nice enough but it turns out he is 16 years old.
Yesterday afternoon J asked my son to come over and play video games, but DS had some responsibilities and couldn't go. Then about 8.30 pm J asked if DS could come spend the night. They live right next door so I let DS even though I don't know J's family very well.
DS came home about 11 AM this morning. About 30 minutes later J calls asking if DS can come swimming with him and another 16 yo (who I don't know) at the neighborhood pool. Our pool has no lifeguard and I wouldn't let DS go without an adult (me) -- which annoyed him but too bad. They weren't there long before it started thundering and we all left. About 1 hour after getting home, the neighbor's son calls again for DS. DS had just gotten grounded for something so I simply said DS couldn't come to the phone.
But truth is, I wasn't really ready for DS to go hang out with J again. DS has a friend his age that lives a few blocks away. I suggested DS go play with him, but he wasn't all that motivated to go.
It's weird. I think it's great to have a kid right next door but I'm feeling a little bothered by it as well. I'm sure a little of my reaction is because I don't know him or his family very well. But a much bigger part of it is because I feel like there is a big difference between 13 and 16 (8th grade and 10th grade).
Is that dumb or what?
Yesterday afternoon J asked my son to come over and play video games, but DS had some responsibilities and couldn't go. Then about 8.30 pm J asked if DS could come spend the night. They live right next door so I let DS even though I don't know J's family very well.
DS came home about 11 AM this morning. About 30 minutes later J calls asking if DS can come swimming with him and another 16 yo (who I don't know) at the neighborhood pool. Our pool has no lifeguard and I wouldn't let DS go without an adult (me) -- which annoyed him but too bad. They weren't there long before it started thundering and we all left. About 1 hour after getting home, the neighbor's son calls again for DS. DS had just gotten grounded for something so I simply said DS couldn't come to the phone.
But truth is, I wasn't really ready for DS to go hang out with J again. DS has a friend his age that lives a few blocks away. I suggested DS go play with him, but he wasn't all that motivated to go.
It's weird. I think it's great to have a kid right next door but I'm feeling a little bothered by it as well. I'm sure a little of my reaction is because I don't know him or his family very well. But a much bigger part of it is because I feel like there is a big difference between 13 and 16 (8th grade and 10th grade).
Is that dumb or what?

I think it depends on the kids - my DD has a friend who's 3 years older, and only in the past year, when the older girl went to college did they really drift apart.
As with everything, I'd say go with your gut. Have your DS start a bit slower with this boy, and have him over your house too, so you can get a feel for the friendship. Even if they were the same age, it would seem like it's a alot of together time so quickly.
Sue
I agree with the previous poster...
It really depends on the boy. You need to get to know him. My DS's BF is 18 and graduated, my DS just turned 16 and will be a junior. This 18 yr old is a GREAT kid and I love that he spends as much time with DS as he does. He has been a positive roll model. DS 14 is really close to DS 16 so my 14 yr old also spends alot of time with BF 18 yr old. My DS who is 14 is as mature or more than my 16 yr old :) Now with all of that said, just really don't get caught up in the age thing...find out what they are doing, have him over etc... Good luck :)
Julie
I think a lot depends on the kids involved. My son is 13, 9th grade and to be honest I don't really think much about him hanging with kids in 10th grade. He has a lot of friends who are a grade or two ahead of him. I never really thought much about the age difference. Some are 16 but most are 15.
That said, one of my son's best friends is an 11 year old who is homeschooled (7th grade). Same age difference as you are dealing with. I do hope that the friendship continues as my son gets older.
I would suggest getting to know the boy and his family a bit better.
stacy