Too young for college visit?
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| Wed, 09-13-2006 - 1:52pm |
My daughter 18 and her roomate from college, both freshman, are going to another college for a party after a football game on Saturday. They will be meeting my daughter's b/f and his older brother, party is at the older brothers place. My daughter also has a friend who is only 16 and still a junior in high school. She told me today they might take this girl too. I immediately saw red flags flying. I asked if this girl had told her parents exactly what was going on and said if she did not, not to take her. I don't want my daughter responsible. I know she wants to see her friends back here since she has been at school, but this is not a situation to take this younger girl. I feel that even if the girls tells her parents, they are gonna think that my daughter will watch out for her. My daugher does not get to see her b/f all that much and I'm sure will spend time with him.
I am ranting on. Question, should I just tell my daughter no. If you are taking this younger girl, you aren't going. I just think she could be heading for trouble she doesn't need.
Where do you step in at this age. When do you let them live their lives and gain their independence and when do you say, you are not seeing it, but this is a bad idea?
Andie

Given her age, I don't know how much good it's going to do to tell your DD "no" she can't go.
Thanks much everyone for the advice. I see we are all in agreement. I feel it would just be a bad situation for this young girl. Personally, I would never have left my daughter go to a party with college kids when she was 16. I would think her parents would feel the same way.
My husband and I talked to my daughter on the phone last night and told her how we felt about this along with the legal ramifications. She is in the eyes of the law an adult, this girl is a minor. She said she would not take the girl. She does see there is a problem with this.
I am glad in this case she did tell me first. "ignorance is bliss" sometimes it is better not to know. If we knew it all, it would probably curl our hair!!!!!!
Thanks,
Andie
This should be the friend's parent's decision. However, I do agree with you that they should make an informed decision. I think I would call them and explain to them that the girl's will be attending some parties and that you think your DD will want to spend some time with her b/f and may not be with their DD all weekend long. You are right your DD should not be responsible for her friend, however, she should also keep an eye out on her as she is younger and less mature -- that's what friends do for each other.
I think our daughter is realizing that it may not be such a good idea. I am happy with that decision. I don't know much about college campuses, I did not attend college, but I have known of people who have gotten in a lot of trouble one way or another. These guys are 21. Even though one of them my daughter's b/f brother who she has known as long as she has known her b/f which is over 2 years now, there will be other guys there his age. I think it best just to nip this situation in the bud. I told her the next weekend she is home, her and her younger friend can spend some time together. Something appropriate for her. I know my daughter would have all good intentions to keep an eye on her, however, just the fact that she needs someone to watch over her lets me think she is too young to be there.
Thanks much
Andie