Touchy subject for me....

Avatar for kel7col4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Touchy subject for me....
4
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 2:58pm

DD14 is my dh's stepdaughter. Dh has been her father since she was 1, there has been no contact, nothing whatsoever from bio dad. DD is really closed to dh and knows there is more to being a "dad" than the dna.

Here lately one of her teacher's has been assigning papers/projects that pertain to the kids' lifes'. Recently, dd had to do a family tree. I asked her which paternal side she wanted to do and she chose dh's. Well, today she comes home with an assignment to describe her birth - okay do I lie? Her deadbeat father went out drinking the night before we went into labor (no different than any other night) - he came home at 3am. My water broke at 4am and I started having the intense back labor you could imagine. I tried to wake him up and of course he was passed out. We had no phone (we were completely poor) and I knew none of my neighbors. I crawled around the house for 2 hours before I was finally able to get him up to take me to the hospital (he kept telling me it was false labor). As soon as we got into my delivery room - he of course kept passing out and was absoulutely useless. Do I sugar coat this scenario to avoid the "bad talking" of the other dna or do I give her the God's honest truth??




Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 3:07pm

Well, what he was doing wasn't directly part of her birth - just go with the birth part from when you got to the hospital!

Sue, who also had intense back labor that I'll never forget

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 3:19pm

What a tough question!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 4:40pm

I like Deborah's idea. Assuming that your DD knows a little bit of the history with her bio dad, and if she asks, you can tell her he was physically present, but not in very good shape at the time.

I agree, this is kind of an odd assignment. What do children of unhappy family situations, foster children, adoptions, etc. do with this? It seems a bit insensitive on the part of the teacher.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 6:39pm

I too, hate these kinds of assignments!