Tough decision for DS
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| Sat, 07-15-2006 - 12:25pm |
I posted this message originally on the Sports and Kids board, but it seems that most posters there have much younger, elementary aged kids. I thought maybe I could get better feedback here from those of you with teenagers who have been involved in sports. TIA!
My DS17 has a really tough decision to make and I'm not sure how to guide him or what my true feelings are. A bit of history: DS has played soccer for over 10 years and had an illustrious travel and ODP career. While in middle school he started running track mainly to improve his stamina and speed on the soccer field. His first season of high school soccer was okay, he played JV even though most of the players, parents and at least one assistant coach felt he should have been varsity. His freshman track season was magical, he ran varsity all season and lettered, was less than one-hundreth of a second from qualifying for our state finals. Sophomore soccer season was dreadful. The head coach treated him like dirt and referred to him as "track boy". He went back and forth between varsity and JV but was the leading scorer for both teams. Sophomore track was wonderful- he led his team to sectional and regional championships, ran a leg of the 4x400 relay that was second at the state finals, making him All State.
Midway through track season he began having pain in his left foot. We went through 2 orthopedists and 2 podiatrists here, did therapy, etc. It seemed to improve once he was off of it after track season ended but really flared up when soccer started. DS was accused of goldbricking and being lazy and after trying to explain he was injured was told "suck it up". He left the team after a couple weeks of practices, well before the season started. We continued to doctor, and in December gave up and went 2 hours away to a wonderful sports medicine practice. He was diagnosed with a mild stress fracture of the navicular bone and also with a nerve problem. He spent two months in a boot cast, then had his first of a series of corticosteroid injections into the nerve in his foot. He ran track but was unable to run all his events on a regular basis. His coach was great about it, and DS did end a sectional champ again in one event. Overall, it was a disappointing season for the team but DS is focused on next season and regaining his form. We scheduled surgery to release the entrapped nerve for July 25, right after DS gets back from his trip to Europe. His full recovery is expected to take 8 weeks or so.
Just before leaving on his trip it was announced that the soccer coach who gave him so much grief resigned and the JV coach is the new head coach. DS played travel many seasons for him and was always his strongest player. Their relationship was pretty good although it was a little strained due to the head coach's dislike of DS. DS has decided that he wants to play soccer this fall. If he has his surgery as scheduled he wouldn't be able to play at all until at least 2/3 of the way through the season. I'm not sure if the coach will even be willing to roster him and wait that long. If he postpones surgery it means more excruciating cortisone injections, playing in pain and waiting until November for surgery. This also means giving up a lot of his indoor track season rehabbing the foot and trying to get back in shape. To complicate things further, I learned today that our incredible track coach is leaving to coach at the college level, so we will have a new coach this spring. DS doesn't even know this yet.
I would love nothing better than to see DS play his senior year of soccer. Part of me is afraid that he will still be treated badly- residual animosity from the former coach? The "new" coach did stand by for three years watching him treat DS like crud and did nothing about it, though maybe he felt powerless to and was covering his own backside. Then again, all their offense graduated last year and they desperately need a goalscorer. I know what they have coming in (DD14 played boys travel soccer and her teammates are the incoming freshmen) and they have mostly defensive players coming.
Should he have surgery as scheduled and hope he gets to play at the end of the season, or delay surgery, play with some pain, hope he gets treated fairly and risk not being as well-prepared for his senior track season???

GL
I think he should have the surgery and forget soccer
I can't see risking further injury and I would assume that were he to receive a scholarship of some sort, it would be more likely to come from track.
Perhaps he just wants to prove something after the way he was treated in soccer-probably an emotional decision instead of a well thought out one?
ahhhh...the joys of coaches.....
In defense of the assist. soccer coach, he probably *couldn't* really do anything against the head coach. I mean, you are right, he probably could have but may have risked his job by doing it. BTDT. It is awful, but coaching UIL sports is 1/4 coaching, 3/4 politics. (at least that is what I think within a lot of small towns. Large schools may not be driven by so much politics.)
I would definitely have him go for the surgery now. He can talk to his soccer coach and if they will roster him thru rehab, then that's great. If not, well, as much as you and he would love to play his senior season, it really isn't worth risking further possible injury to his foot. I say that, then, I wonder...what has the sports injury dr said? Can posponeing the surgery injure his foot further or further injure the nerve involved? IF it really, really, really won't cause any further injury by postponing the surgery, you might discuss it with your ds and get his thoughts on the matter, especially after he finds out the track coach is leaving. He may decide to forgo soccer and go for track. Or, he may want to play soccer more than anything and is willing to "play thru the pain" (so to speak) and not worry so much about track. Who knows?
All that being said, if the doctor says he could risk further injury by playing now and having the surgery later, then I would definitly have the surgery now.
IMO, do NOT delay surgery for soccer what-ifs. Also, I wouldn't be too hard on the old JV coach, whom you say sat back and watched old coach be so mean to your kid. You never know what was going on behind the scenes and his hands may have been tied, he may have been unaware, or old coach may have been dishonest about treatment of his players. What is most important is that your son make a solid recovery ASAP. If he really loves soccer, he can play in the rec leagues in college. Rec leagues are more fun than coached soccer. Its all about health, safety, and the love of the game above all else.
I know a TON of soccer people, and I thought of a friend of mine when I read your post. What he wouldn't do to turn back the clock and address his injury properly. He was benched for life from not taking it seriously. He played pro and now he struggles with Rec because of it. Good luck, Betty
I wish there were an easy answer here and having been through something similar with DD I can truly sympathize with you. We were in a car accident (drunk driver) and DD tore her shoulder up pretty. She played both volleyball and softball with it for a full year. Volleyball coach was great. Softball coach was horrible. Softball was her original love. DD was a pitcher and a shoulder injury was devastating to her. Dd had to decide between surgery in the winter (after volleyball and well into softball season) or wait until summer (after softball but well into volleyball). Since she couldn't pitch well anyway b/c of the injury, she choose to go ahead and have the surgery in the winter. She missed 2/3 of the season. Coach didn't play her much at all when she was released - she felt it would be disruptive to the team to put her in that late in the season. Since she was a jr the coach also wouldn't play her on JV. She honestly didn't want to play softball her senior year but her volleyball coach talked her into it. He pointed out to her that one of the main lessons they learn from sports is mental endurance and stamina and to quit during her senior year would be like failing the exam. She stayed and was placed on first base and had an outstanding season. The softball coach actually admired her for coming back and they had a wonderful year together.
"The "new" coach did stand by for three years watching him treat DS like crud and did nothing about it, though maybe he felt powerless to and was covering his own backside." This may be true or it may be that he did try behind the scenes. He might have felt that to do anything in front of the team would undermine the head coach and ultimately cause problems with the team. Or maybe not. I taught a lesson to my Sunday School class at the beginning of the school year last year about how people can change and grow over time and to start the new year fresh - give those that caused you problems last year a chance. I think that this applies to the "new" coach especially since you know what he's capable of.
I'm sorry this is so long but I really hope my experience with this can help you and DS to make the decision that is best for him.