The transition to adulthood

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
The transition to adulthood
5
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 7:05pm

Hi all :)

We are in the countdown towards 18. It is still about 5 months away... but for as fast as the past couple of years have gone, I know the next few months are going to fly by - and I want everything clearly spelled out before then.

She hasn't finished college apps. yet (she is working on them, thankfully!), but she is set on going to a 4 year school. She wants to stay close to us, but live on campus. (which I think is a good choice for her).
She is going to qualify for tons of financial aid (she will be able to fill out her FAFSA as independent - which not many college students are able to do). So I'm not worried about her paying for school. Besides, student loans are just reality these days.

Because of Liz, I was kind of forced to take on a lot of responsibility for myself - without any sort of nice transition. So, I'm not quite sure what to expect of and turn over to my cousin.

We need to get her some sort of medical coverage after she turns 18. This has been a struggle all along, and she is currently being covered under my uncle's plan. He is leaving his job in the spring, so that insurance will be gone right about when she turns 18.

...I am thinking our only insurance option is to get something through the state. Should I research it all and present it to her, or should it be her job to find her own medical coverage?
What about doctor appointments? Her 'favorite' doctor books up months ahead of time, so appointments need to be planned ahead. She has had some issues with the pill, so she gets seen every 6 months instead of yearly. Should I just tell her that appointments are now her responsibility - or should I remind her exactly when she needs to be calling? Its not like she wouldn't be seen by anyone if she put off the appointment, just not the one she is comfortable with.

What about car insurance? Should I keep her on ours? Or should I have her seek out her own after graduation? ...I want to be here for her, but I would love to have her off of our insurance. I am planning on giving her our car that she drives, so she will need insurance.

There is just so much general, life & taking care of one's self stuff that I'm not sure how to transition responsibility for. She is pretty good watching out for herself - but she is still a teenager. I want the financial ties to be cut quicker with her than I probably will do with Liz, but I don't want her to feel stranded.

She does a good job of paying her own bills now (her share of insurance, her cell, etc.)
...but I still know that adulthood will be a shock to her.

I have told her that she is welcome to live with us until the end of the summer, and longer if she is in school (and chooses not to go the dorm route)

I know I'm ahead of myself a bit, but I want to prepare her the best I can for the transition.

Any tips? I know you ladies (and daddioe) will have some great thoughts as always!
~Becca

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2005
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 7:49pm

Hey, good to see you again.

I don't have too much in advice.. but I did want to say that the 4-year university I attended had a free clinic on campus, and for the b.c. I went to Planned Parenthood for free. Both clinics were lifesavers for me.

zz

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 7:59pm
Becca,
I agree. Transitioning those responsibilities is a challenge.
What I did with DS is let him know that his studies are his priority, period.
Starting college is exciting but a huge stress on kids. You can't effectively study and pay attention while wondering where your going to get rent, insurance, transportation and all the other little details that are suddenly thrust upon a graduating high schooler.
I see you're in MN too. The state colleges offer health insurance as a option in the tuition billing. The coverage rivals the best HMO's and is very inexpensive.
Your auto insurer will be able to keep her insured on your policy. Much cheaper than having her get it on her own. My agent (Fast Freddie..lol) told me they even remove the "youthful surcharge" if she's over 100 miles away at school and is not furnished a vehicle at school. (Didn't apply in our case, but he's still on our policy).
Granted, my approach may not be the best but I think it was a huge relief for DS and a major sign of our support as he entered college.
He had gradually taken over the responsibility of making sure he signs up and obtains what he needs. (He's a senior now) He works, but doesn't make nearly enough for some of these expenses.
It also has been good for DD to see our philosophy of support for college. While she intends on college, it doesn't hurt for her to see the perks that would disappear if she decided not to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sat, 11-04-2006 - 6:07am

It sounds like you're in about the same boat with your cousin that we were with S as he transitioned into adulthood.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Sat, 11-04-2006 - 7:38am

Most of us had some of the best years of our lives in college, and I think that as long as the kids are trying hard and not partying all the time, we should give them all the support we can. Of course, a part-time job can always be worked into their schedules. The suggestions of health insurance through the school and PP are good ones that should save your cousin some money, and I, too, would recommend you keep her on your insurance policy if she must have a car in college.

When I consider how mentally burdened we are now, with our job responsibilities, troubled teens, aging parents, and who knows what else, I look back on those college years as having had an opportunity to grow, unencumbered, from all my experiences. There are so many more extracurricular activities--from sports to volunteer groups--in most schools now than there were 30 years ago; I think our children should take advantage of them.

Our son#1 held on to the purse strings just a little too long. He had a great college experience while having to worry only about his leisure spending money; and his living expenses in the summers he did not take classes. He's been working almost 1 year now, and except for the fact that he's had to pay about $300 in overdraft charges, he's doing alright in an expensive city. (One of those overdrafts occurred when he purchased STOCK! YIKES!) This weekend we'll be closing his backup checking acct into which we transferred $ when he was in college.

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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Sat, 11-04-2006 - 8:09am

My first thought is to look into any insurance plans that the colleges may offer for her. Many colleges offer insurance plans at a reduced rate for their students.

As for the car insurance, I would make sure that she is able to manage school work and working a job in order to pay her bills. College in and of itself can be a shock and you don't want her overwhelmed. I would keep her on your insurance for the first semester at least, so that she can adjust to everything without the added pressure of paying more bills at the same time.

jmo

stacy