Trouble Relating
Find a Conversation
Trouble Relating
| Tue, 08-17-2010 - 1:48pm |
I have a wonderful 16yo son, well behaved, good in school, nice friends, gives us no problems except for the occasional mouth.
In the past few months he has been talking nonstop with my husband about cars, sports, guy movies, girlfriend advice, etc.... but not much to me about anything. He esp. avoids the girlfriend situation; doesn't want me involved AT ALL.
Yesterday he jokingly said to me, "Your job is over, Mom. Time to turn it over to Dad." But, no joke!
Reflecting, I find my conversation to him to be more in the lines of "did you do this, did you do that?".... since I am the one more in charge of his daily life, with husband working.
He definitely doesn't want to "do" things with me -- fear of being seen with his mother, mostly.
Latest from the board
- Siblings attend each other's events? 6
- When to have the first GYN exam? 10
- De-Lurking to Vent About Prom Drama... 6
- DD wants to dye her hair.....green 10
- To everyone who gave me advice about my daughter modeling 3
- Prom and a teen who moved out 9
- Teen Daughter Wants to Model 6
- Random Act of Kindness for Teens
- For those of you that celebrate Easter 5
- Win a $50 gift card from Wallis Fashion!
Memeber Support
Visit our Member Support area or browse the iVillage Help forum
| Q: | Where can I change my password? |
| A: | Log in, go to Edit My Preferences, and click the Account tab. Make and save your changes. |
Just a suggestion - maybe do some 'house stuff' together like laundry, or teach him to iron (obviously I don't know what he does now), vacuum, dust, kitchen tool maintenance, balance checkbook, cook/bake
OMG can I relate. I have three boys. And there were times in their teen years when I would literally have to rack my brain to think of stuff to talk about. And I knew my material sounded so lame that I actually couldn't stand myself. LOL!
The fact that he prefers DH at the moment seems okay to me. In fact really nice, except you getting shut out. But remember when they were little and there were the phases when they preferred their moms to the dads and the dad had to just wait it out? Also, don't rule out the fact that how you relate might also be the issue. I know that I tended to constantly want to run over my checklist with them, again it was a conversation killer. So just try and be a little more relaxed about stuff and try not to pick apart everything they mention and see if it gets better?
Do try and find something you two and do together, a home project, or teach him to cook. Go to the movies, one he likes so you can talk about it after. Buy tickets to some kind of entertainment he likes or sport game and then be prepared to talk about it on the way home. He'll secretly love that you're investing so much energy into him and it will pay off down the road.
Otherwise, be confidant that he'll want a relationship with you later and enjoy the free time now.
I can really relate to your post. My son never wants to be seen with his family. Apparently we embarrass him??? Conversations are very brief-one, two word answers. Is there anything the two of you both enjoy? For my son and I, it's professional sports and our dogs. He'll tell me something about one of the local teams or I'll ask him a question about them. We both loves our dogs and that has been one of the few ways we can connect lately. Again they are very brief but it's something.
Your son sounds like a good kid. I'm sure this is just a phase.
I hear you... I started out my family with boys (ended up with 3 of them) and didn't get a girl until the very end. Learn to talk their talk, even if it's a subject you're not remotely interested in! LOL
I'm very much a girlie girl... I knew how to put gas in my car, and that's about it. I knew baseball players had bats and gloves, football players wore pads... and that was the end of my sports knowledge. I knew that hunting rifles made a loud noise and were not to be taken lightly.... AND THEN I HAD SONS!!! And I now know that a super charged V8 with a turbo boost is one heck of a car - and has a lot more horseys under the hood than *I* need! And a cold air intake will increase not only your horsepower, but also your mpg. LOL I can work in a new ball glove, and fully put together a set of football pads after they've been cleaned - and I can spot a pass interference call with the best of them. AND I received a hunter's safety certificate about 12 years ago when my oldest son got his... but I still don't hunt.
They're all adults now, and they still think the height of sexy is a woman who can make a slinky red dress look sizzling on Saturday night after spending all day changing the oil and brake pads in her car with little help from him! LOL But my point is - it's really hard to get those teen boys interested in the things mom is interested in, so mom needs to figure out what they're interested in and learn to talk the talk. I will likely never again use all of the mechanical, sports and hunting knowledge I acquired when my sons were teens, but it was a lot of fun while it lasted! LOL
Cl of
Parents of Sexually Active Teens Board
Rose, Furmom to
LOL...I don't have a son, but I'd definitely take the sports angle! 25 years ago, I HATED baseball, but