Turning 18..new troubles on the horizon
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| Sun, 02-12-2006 - 2:26am |
My DD turned 18 a week ago. Just before that she started trying to
get her DD & I to let her party at a college nightclub to celebrate.
We wouldn't allow it. When she turned 18, that night she went to
dinner with 12 of her friends and ditched the normal special dinner
of her choice, and spending it with us. Well the following friday
she asked to spend the night at her friends. We agreed and told her
not to go partying and club hoping. I called her and checked in on
her on her cell phone and she told me that they were just talking
and hadn't went anywhere. The follwing morning I got a call at 6am
from her telling me that she was sick and was on her way home.
When she arrived she woke me to let me know that she was home.
When asked what all went on she said nothing, just talking..and that
they didn't go anywhere at all.
A couple of days later, I logged onto her myspace account and seen a
message from another friend asking her how the sleeping arrangements
turned out. And that she didn't get home until 6am. When I confronted
my daughter with this she told me that the first friend told her she
couldn't stay the night so she went to the second friends house, and
stayed there. When I told her that I knew that the 2nd friend
didnt' get home until 6am, she knew I had her. She still tried to
get out of it, but when I called friend #1, she told me that they went
downtown and hung out, and my daughters boyfriend met them. She left
them downtown at 1 am, and my daughter told her that she was going
home. When I told her that MDD didn't get home until 6:30am
she told me that she didn't know why my DD would lie. Ended
up after threatening my DD she told me the truth (I think). They
all went downtown to the bar/club and that after that her BF and her
went out to breakfast. She tried to tell me that she was afraid to
come home, afraid that we would be mad. I told her that I was mad
because she didn't... anyway, she got grounded for until I decide.
and we are devistated that she would do this... I know that she's
18, but we have told her - "You live in our house, you go by our
rules."
Now she is forbidden to see the boy until we decide. She can only drive
her car to school and work, which she doesn't even have a job..doesn't
try hard enough to get one. AND I have taken her cell phone away.
God this is killing me, she fights with her brother terribly
and when I tell her to be quite, she ignores me and mouths off
at her father and I. I have posted here before about her brother
he'e the one that is withdrawn at school...etc..
I can't stand this anymore. Is there ever an end to this heartbreak??

<<<<<>>>>
when they get out of the house and we dont know about it?
I am so much happier with my oldest(approaching 21)since he moved out. I still have my worries and will as long as I live, Im sure, but there is something to be said to not knowing every detail of their lives
We lifted my 18 yr old high school seniors curfew on weekends in December on his 18th birthday. He has only stayed out all night twice and once was New Years. He also told us ahead on both occassions
Trust me, he is no angel-we have had and continue to have problems with him but I have to say I am surprised at how this has played out after all the arguing and fussing about curfew before we lifted it!!!!
Is she a senior? If so, maybe you do need to back off a bit
Not for every kid but for some?