TVs and computers in bedrooms?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
TVs and computers in bedrooms?
15
Fri, 09-01-2006 - 2:03pm

Yesterday my DH was upset w/ his DD (age 16) and he mentioned something about talking to his friends and their kids don't have TVs or computers in their rooms. I wonder what is the norm?

DD was widowed a long time ago so there was only him & DD. I think she always had a TV in her room. As far as my kids (who are 17 & 11), my DD bought a TV w/ birthday money several years ago. I did pay to hook it up to cable since otherwise, they only get about 3 channels and bad reception where we live. She really doesn't watch that much TV, mostly sports, but I haven't worried about it since she gets really good grades. My ex bought my DS (the 11 yo) a TV for Christmas. I was holding off on him for as long as possible since he loves TV and I figured he would be up all night watching it. I did tell him that having the TV didn't mean he could stay up later at night. Also since his room is back to back w/ mine, I can hear it if it's on. He also loves to read (had his 3 books for school read by the 2nd week of summer) and does well in school, so not really an issue for me.

As far as the computer, I have never agreed w/ letting the kids have computers in their rooms. My DD does use the computer a lot for homework and IMing her friends, usually at the same time. My DS has only recently started IMing but in 4th grade, not many kids were into it. I did believe all the studies about keeping the computer in a common area so you can see what they are doing. Mine is in my office downstairs.

My DH has his own computer in the basement, but he is very reluctant to let anyone else use it because he is sure they will wreck it by downloading music, etc. Now that he also has a laptop for work, it shouldn't be such an issue, but it still is. So a couple of years ago, he gave his old computer to his DD for her room and said she could keep it there if she got good grades. She's going into 11th grade now. Last year she did ok, I think, but not that great. In 9th grade, she failed math, so there were times when he took the computer out or limited its use. She also got in trouble a few times for being on it late at night after she was supposed to be in bed.

He also complains that she never wants to leave her room--well who would, with the TV, DVD player, computer, stereo, etc. It's like having an apt. that she only has to come out of to go to the bathroom or eat. She hardly went out w/ any friends all summer. She didn't join any clubs in school. She was supposed to get a job, but never did (his fault for not taking her places to apply, IMHO). Now of course, he's concerned about her lack of motivation w/ school and not going to be able to get in college. Of course, it's easier to not give the kids stuff for their rooms in the first place than to take it away as "punishment." I just wondered what other people did at their homes.

Pages

Avatar for momtb4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 3:04am

when DS aquired his own tv, I allowed it to be in his room. When he aquired a computer, I also allowed that to be in his room. In fact, he's had a computer in his room since he was 9. He helped build it as a project with a guy friend of mine and got to keep it, but we didn't have internet! In my experience, the tv and computer in his room were much bigger problems than a lot of other things. He watched tv in his room, even if the rest of us were watching the same thing in the living room. He was up very, very late most nights, either watching tv or on the internet. I never had any real idea what exactly he was doing on the internet, either. He got lousy grades, except when he wanted to do better. He had the ability to do better, but didn't usually chose to. He overslept more times than I can count. He was late for school so often that the attendence lady recognized my voice because I had to call him in late every time. He couldn't get up because he wasn't sleeping at night. He pretty much stayed in his room as much as possible (and then called our home a prison!) He's moved out now, as of July.

My dd is 11. She will NOT be allowed to have a tv or computer in her room. She doesn't think this is fair. I think the first child is the one to practice on and then make changes with the others! I may change my mind in later years, as I see how she progresses in school and socially, and might allow a tv, but I'll never allow her to have a computer in her room! We have 1 and she can use it when she needs to. Frankly, I think kids really do very little homework ON the computer. They do a little research and maybe type a paper or something, but the majority of their school work is still done on paper with a pencil. My DS tried to convince me he had to have a laptop for high school, and had to take it every single day! I didn't buy it then and I don't buy it now!

I agree with you, it's a lot easier to not give them stuff than it is to punish them for using it inappropriately.

Avatar for soccermom03
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 10:14am
Both DS18 and DD14 have TV and computers (with internet) in their bedrooms. Neither is a big TV watcher, mostly DVDs from our collection or an occasional rented one, and sometimes DS will watch soccer if there is a good game on. I feel like the computers make life much easier for all of us- both kids have at least some online homework and nearly all of their teachers have webpages with extra credit assignments, links to online tutorials, etc, that are nice to be able to access. Naturally, they do spend some time IMing, DS has Facebook and DD loves MySpace, both have their own email accounts. A lot of this electronic communication is a lifesaver for us- living in a college town and having kids who are active in sports means lots of friends who either live out of town or have moved out of town. I'd rather DD chat on IM for hours with her girlfriend who moved three states away than spend hours on the phone with her, lol. DS18 is now at the age where many of his friends have graduated and are at colleges all over the country, so they keep in touch via their Facebook network. Again, much less expensive and more convenient than the phone. As long as they both maintain their good grades and have active face-to-face social lives I don't have a problem with their computer usage.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2006
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 1:59pm

Until recently, my kids did not have a computer or TV in their rooms. Its not that I don't trust them, but they were sharing the items. My son just got a laptop for college, so the computer that they were sharing now belongs to my daughter. We moved it into her room. She does need it for school and really does not have enough time for it with all her school work and extracurriculars. I trust her and she has amazing grades and doesn't misuse it. With the TV, my kids decided that they would rather have a nicer one for everyone to watch then small dinky ones in their rooms. My daughter never watches during the school week and my son maintained good grades when he did. Since their grades havent dropped I am okay with the computer/TV arrangement.

Adelaide

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 3:52pm

My ds has had a tv in his room since he was about 4 yrs old. He hardly watched it as a child. He will be 18 in 2 weeks and jsut got a new 27" not that long ago. For his 16th b-day we got him a computer. It really doesn't cause any problem and he isn't messing up my computer!

My 5 yr old has a tv and vcr in her room, but really only watches maybe 1/2 hour a day..after bath and before bed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 6:58pm

I may be way out in left field, but my dd has neither a tv or computer in her bedroom . We have only one of each in the house. She has a stereo in her room & uses the computer in the office for homework & IM. She does most of her homework in her bedroom & she takes the tv into the bedroom for sleep overs.

I guess I've 2 questions the ones who have tv's & computers in the bedrooms- how much reading do they do & how can you really keep a watch on what it is they're watching on tv or doing on the computer?

Pages