Typical grades question

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Typical grades question
26
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 12:28pm

Looking for opinions here, so fire away:


DS 15yo is a freshman in HS. Always needs prodding to keep grades up.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Thu, 12-14-2006 - 3:08pm
LOL!!! You have no idea how much of "state school" people we really are. Not only did DH and I grad from state school but

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Thu, 12-14-2006 - 3:38pm

I'm sorry if I was critical - and totally understand your situation - my son would be laughed at by the school where I work. They wouldn't even look at his application after seeing his transcripts and SAT scores. Which is sad, considering one of the benefits of my employer is free tuition to the children of employees for the first undergraduate year...so instead of going to a prestigious, world-renowned, state university for free, I will be paying for my son to attend community college while he "finds" himself.

Annoying, I know - and no, MIT ain't knocking on our door, either - no one will be, unfortunately.

There are some kids who I think are very smart and could be great students - later in life. I can see my son getting a degree at 30 or 35, after years of realizing a lack of degree, trade, or direction has resulted in wages that can't support him. Maybe it just takes our DS's more time to grow up than others.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Thu, 12-14-2006 - 3:57pm
Hi Betty,
My parents never used the carrot or the stick with me in high school. They believed that it was up to me to make my own life, my own mistakes and my own decisions. I secretly wanted them to be stronger parents, and I did not grow and learn as much as I should have because of their adoption of a passive role. They were afraid to be strong parents with me because they perceived that they had failed with both carrot and stick methods with my older sister. Somehow, they thought that it was better to not rock the boat than to deal with the inevitable conflicts that strong parenting demands. I lost a lot of respect for them because of their passivity. My older brother was more restrictive and punitive than my parents ever were. Only you and your husband will know what the right goals and limits are for your kids. As far as carrots, I think we need to choose carrots that are really meaningful to our kids. What they perceive as being of utmost importance. If a carrot fails to inspire, it is the wrong carrot. Of course, I don't think we need to demand that they pull an unweighted 4.0 and perfect 2400 SATs to get rewards, but they should be taught to strive for a higher level so they can develop discipline and confidence.
Best wishes,
Mimi
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Thu, 12-14-2006 - 3:59pm
Meeeeee too sister! My kid is determined to do things the hard way I guess. It is sooo frustrating to watch but we all choose our path and you can't force the maturation of others. Mine and yours'll get there when they do. Harvard will just have to wait to cash my checks LOL!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Thu, 12-14-2006 - 4:37pm

<<<<<<>>>>>>>>

LOL....
I about fell on the floor laughing
Can I borrow "pedigreed fools"?? I know of a few applicable uses.
You mean......It's NOT about Yales Skull and Bones and numerated last names??
Say it ain't so!! :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 1:17pm
One word......Bush. LOL!!!!!

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