Maybe it's too late for this given her age, but how often does she do something right? Is she ever helpful in any way?Bring home a good grade? Pick up her dishes (even small things like that)? How does she react to smiles, hugs
Sunshine, I'm very sorry to hear about the dynamics of your relationship with your daughter. From my vantage points she appears to be stuck in grief over the loss of her father and doesn't know what else to do other than rage to get someone's attention. She sounds like a preject, and this time in her life is actually a great opportunity for you to partner with her to overcome what is for her the most significant loss event to date. I know it will be tough, because I traveled the same journey with my middle daughter; but if you can look past her behavior to her pain, and recall your own pain rooted in loss, you can really partner with her and show her how to take the steps to healing. Holla back at me if you'd like to know what those steps are. They worked for me and my daughter.
Someone said that they didn't think it was bipolar disorder. I'm just going to disagree and say that it could be. I was, at times, horrific to my sister and my parents as a teenager. Screaming, violent, your post sounded pretty familiar to me. It continued into my adulthood until I was diagosed and given the right medication. The difference in me now is night and day. I used to struggle so hard to reign in my anger, and most of the time was unable to. Now I can't even imagine doing the things I used to do.
It would be well worth it to have her evaluated. If it's not bipolar or something else treatable then at least you know. If it is, you wouldn't want her to have to live with it for years more, and it could be very destructive to her life once she is an adult. I am so lucky I was never arrested.
Hi Mom ; It seem like ur D, already has u figure out, she know
To add on to a previous poster:
You are getting alot of advice and good stuff that is true and real.
I am a rather new poster, and definitely new to this board. I am not a parent, but my boyfriend's family is going through something very similar currently. They have a 13 year old who either gets angry and violent or is completely apathetic, and a sweet six year old who is very scared. They know that that kind of environment is not safe for him. They've called the cops repeatedly and she got put in Juvie for bringing weed to school. Finally, they got a recommendation for an in-patient psychiatric program in which the doctors will communicate fully with the parents about issues and how to solve them. I highly suggest continuing counseling, and seeing if social services would be willing to get your daughter into an inpatient psychiatric facility where she can be monitored full time, if calling the police when she becomes violent doesn't work. It's just my two cents, but it's already working out well for them. The unit does not
I'm not sure that "what would you do?" is the right question, as we're all in different situations.