You are getting alot of advice and good stuff that is true and real.
To add on to a previous poster:
Hi Mom ; It seem like ur D, already has u figure out, she know
Someone said that they didn't think it was bipolar disorder. I'm just going to disagree and say that it could be. I was, at times, horrific to my sister and my parents as a teenager. Screaming, violent, your post sounded pretty familiar to me. It continued into my adulthood until I was diagosed and given the right medication. The difference in me now is night and day. I used to struggle so hard to reign in my anger, and most of the time was unable to. Now I can't even imagine doing the things I used to do.
It would be well worth it to have her evaluated. If it's not bipolar or something else treatable then at least you know. If it is, you wouldn't want her to have to live with it for years more, and it could be very destructive to her life once she is an adult. I am so lucky I was never arrested.
Sunshine, I'm very sorry to hear about the dynamics of your relationship with your daughter. From my vantage points she appears to be stuck in grief over the loss of her father and doesn't know what else to do other than rage to get someone's attention. She sounds like a preject, and this time in her life is actually a great opportunity for you to partner with her to overcome what is for her the most significant loss event to date. I know it will be tough, because I traveled the same journey with my middle daughter; but if you can look past her behavior to her pain, and recall your own pain rooted in loss, you can really partner with her and show her how to take the steps to healing. Holla back at me if you'd like to know what those steps are. They worked for me and my daughter.
Maybe it's too late for this given her age, but how often does she do something right? Is she ever helpful in any way?Bring home a good grade? Pick up her dishes (even small things like that)? How does she react to smiles, hugs