Unruly Teenager-Need Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2007
Unruly Teenager-Need Help
7
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 2:32am
I need help now. My 16 yr old daughter snuck out of the house. No, not the first time that was two years ago. Not the second time that was earlier this week which she is grounded for but again tonight and it is 2:30 on Friday morning and I cannot find her. I am losing it...I think I need to have her declare unruly but don't know how to do this. And before you ask 2 years ago we went into intense counsoling, three times a week. After she got caught the second time she said she would never do it again because she wants to prove she is mature. Help Me and my family!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 6:01am

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, it's so scary when your child isn't where she's supposed to be at any time, but especially in the middle of the night.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 7:35am
How awful for you. I hope you've located her. Where does she go when she sneaks out? Perhaps that might help us come up with some ideas.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 8:08am

I am so sorry she's putting you through this. But honestly it's time to call in the professionals again. You did not give us to much info, but for me this would be like a cancer in my family and if I treated it once and it came back, I would treat it again. Can you get her back to someone who can see if she is suffering from some kind of bipolar disorder? Or if there is no reason to suspect anything other than bad teen antics, you have got to get some parenting advice on how to stop her from thinking she can rule the house.

Good luck keep us posted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2007
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 8:59am
My daughter came home at 4:30am. She always says she goes to friends houses. Someone picked her up in a car last night. It doesn't help when her friends drive.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 8:59am

I appreciate the succinct post but I do think it would help to know where she goes-is this about a BF? Has it been the same reason all times?

Could you buy alarms for the door or window-I think they are readily available now-not a full alarm system necessarily, just something that lets you know THAT door was opened.

We found out my then 16 yr old was sneaking out about the same time we found a near empty bottle of vodka in his closet. He was in the basement at the time so we moved him upstairs next to our room although it was disruptive to other family members. To my knowledge, that stopped the sneaking.

They also have cell phones that allow you to determine your childs location-obviously, she could ditch the cell but its a thought!

If you know where she is going I would certainly track her down and make a loud and embarrassing entrance, even if that meant waking BFs family at 230 AM

Let us know how it comes out

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2007
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 9:03am
The whole thing with the counseling is she has to agree with it and she will not. I did speak to her grandparents that live out of state and they are willing to keep her for the rest of the summer. So hopefully that will help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 10:20am
I guess you will have to find the underlying reason that she is sneaking out so late at night. My DSD did the same thing this week (see my other post), got picked up by a girlfriend who had just gotten her license and was not supposed to be driving w/ another teen in the car anyway. The reason she left was to escape being punished by her father. But if your DD says she is just going over a friend's house, I would be very suspicious because most teens really aren't just hanging out until 4:30 a.m. I would really be suspecting that she is drinking or using drugs. Maybe if you think that some friends are a bad influence, then spending the summer away from them might help, but what about in the fall when she goes back to school?