Update to the Help? thread
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| Thu, 06-14-2007 - 9:32pm |
All Tuesday afternoon and night I had to paste the smile on and make the smalltalk with the boyfriend. I was nice and cordial and just like normal. There were times that I would actual forget what I knew and then I would remember. At one point, he was talking about some friends of theirs that are dating. Boy and girl dated for about 6 months and boy cheated (sex) on girl. The boy immediately told girl what he had done, she accepted it and they are still together (although not too happily I hear). Dd's boyfriend started laughing at the fact that he likes to instigate fights with this couple. I made the mistake of asking why he would do that. His reply? "He treats her like dirt." Which was regarding the cheating incident. I couldn't hold it anymore. Luckily dd wasn't in the room. I smiled and nicely said "Ya we all know what an outstanding boyfriend you are, you wouldn't cheat on dd AND tell her about it." He looked absolutely stunned, but didn't say a word.
Wednesday, dd still all happy goes to school and everything is fine. She had plans to spend the night at a friends house and studying for finals after going to the friend's brother's graduation. As soon as they go to the friends house, dear boyfriend had guilt bug bite him and he decided on AIM to spill the beans. He has only owned up to 3rd Base, not the full homerun. He was really good and took it like a man I guess while she flipped out on him. They are obviously broken up (lol and it's been more than an hour this time) - but he's chasing her big time.
She was really upset because she had plans with friends for a bonfire tonight. It was just suppose to be the girls. About 2 hours before the bonfire, boyfriend calls dd up and asks if she wants a ride to the bonfire. She gets off the phone with him and the girl that is having the bonfire called - boyfriend wasn't invited. They begged her to still go. She's there right now. I'm on edge.
She had a terrible day of course. Two finals that she is sure she bombed. She avoided boyfriend as much as she could. Rumor has it, one of her friends went up to boyfriend and slapped him. All of his friends were consoling her. She had to work after school, that didn't go well, she had to leave early and she is on a probationary basis as it is. He has texted her a million times. She has a million guys hitting on her. Everyone giving her conflicting advice.
She's on the rollercoaster, anger, sad, happy, you name it. She has no idea what she wants to do. I am pretty proud of her that she is mad at the appropriate person and she has sympathy for the other girl. She wants to talk to the girl again. She never asked her flat out if they had sex. She didn't think about it because she was taking boyfriend at his word. The girl told dd that she was a sex addict and on medication for that (?).
I was shocked this morning when I received a very heartfelt message from boyfriend. I have the feeling they will get back together, but hey atleast (most) of the truth is out. I don't even want to think about what it will be like if they do.
Thank ya'll all again. I apologize for not answering each response I received. I don't know if I did the right thing, I hope I did.

Hey,
I am still so sorry for you that you're even involved in this, but because you are and because she is your DD, I can't help but say this. You're DD NEEDs to know that this boy had unprotected sex with this girl (who now says she is a sex addict) What if you're DD has unprotected sex with this boy just once!!! Just my opinion, but if it were my daughter, at this point, I would worry most about her saftey and not her being mad at me.
Good luck,
Julie
HI,
Well two things here. You're darned lucky you got the chance to say something to the boyfriend w/o it getting ugly. Right at this moment I'd LOVE that chance with my daughter's boyfriend. And you are fortunate that she has other guys interested in her. My dd's boyfriend is a 6'4" guy and quite possessive (well he used to be) and over the course of the year and a half they have dated, he's pretty much let it be known that he doesn't want other guys around her. And that is really unfortunate at this moment in time. He's pretty much blowing her off but won't come right out and tell her that he wants to be single. So he's sort of stringing her along, but he is going to the beach on Sunday and is going to do god knows what probably with girls that are supposed to be her friends. I'd dearly love to tell him what I think of him and his behavior. And, I would dearly love it if some of his friends would ask her out. Let him see what it feels like to be on the receiving end of feeling like crap.
I am one mad mom. I'm hurting for my daughter, who didn't deserve to be blown off by her bf on her graduation night. --Nancy