Update on laying the law down

Avatar for jbgattuso
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Registered: 04-29-2003
Update on laying the law down
4
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 7:10pm

Hey all,

Just wanted to let you know that when DS got home from rehersal today he told me that on the way there, he called GF (he had tried to break up in person already twice this week) He told her all that we had talked about this morning and told her that being a child, and being our child was too important to him at this point. He asked her please to not contact him and to go off and enjoy her college experience. Well, he is sad, heartbroken actually and I actually feel so bad for his sadness, but I am so glad that he made the decision and actually realized with just the "threat" of reality that he wants to remain that teenager that he really is. I'm sure it's not going to be easy around here for a while, but will keep our fingers crossed!

Thanks for the replys that I got from Y'all.

Julie

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Registered: 02-14-2000
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 8:56pm
Oh Julie - that's great.
Pam
Avatar for jbgattuso
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Registered: 04-29-2003
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 9:37pm

"This romance of your ds's reminds me SO much of the one Jason had his senior year. I hated every minute that I knew they were together"

Oh Pam, I know you know what I am going through, I hope it's not bringing up too many bad memories LOL :)

I will be keeping my mouth shut for sure...I have even told him that as much as he probably doesn't want to, I am here for him to talk to about how badly he is feeling. He and his brother went over to my parents house tonight just to spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa...the boys love them both so and I know it will be good for DS to get some lovin from someone he's not mad at :) Thanks again,

Julie

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Registered: 05-24-2005
Sat, 08-18-2007 - 9:51am
I don't know the whole background of the problems with the GF other than she is 2 yrs older, and they are SA, but aren't you concerned the DS might sneak around with GF now? I've always told my kids I wouldn't stop them from hanging out or dating who they choose as long as safety and legal issues aren't involved. The safety is a broad issue, does potential heartbreak fall into that catagory? If so, we need to stop them from dating anyone. Even the legal issues are touchy--DD's bf drinks. He's 17, so that's illegal. But it will be hard to find a 17 who hasn't at least TRIED drinking. As long as he's not driving DD around, and actually according to DD he doesn't drink when she is with him or will be with him, so I'm leaving it be for now. (I believe her, she has too much to loose if she comes home smelling like alcohol again)
Anyway, I do agree with waking our kids up though, I just hope that he's not pulling a quick one on you. I also agree with some posts for the other thread, once the GF is in college they are done regardless of what's going on right now.
Avatar for jbgattuso
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Registered: 04-29-2003
Sat, 08-18-2007 - 1:58pm

believe me this is/was some of my worry and why I felt so compelled to just "sit here" for the last 8 months and hold my breath. Some of what this girl has done, I haven't posted, and if a broken heart was all I was concerned about, I would have just let that happen. We saw a change in our son that was scary, I began to "snoop" more because of this, I found things about this girl and how she was "holding" onto my son that made my dh and I feel that this relationship could be damaging emotionally....long term to our son. As I have said before, it is hard to put it all down, nor to I feel the need other than to say this girl has her own set of problems, just one of which is having such low self esteem that she would use sex to hold onto someone. DS has already been hiding things and "sneaking" around and it only started when this girl came into the picture. Sure, I know that she would be gone physically soon, but we knew that ds needed not to be here via e-mail etc, for this girl to continue to "mess" with his head. sadly our son has been thinking with other parts than that. We want boys in society to respect woman....that is exactly why I don't want my son in this kind of relationship. Oh by the way, this girl took my then 15 yr old son from his first kiss....all the way :( sad, but true.

He has blocked all communication with her on the computer, and admitted to even having the hidden accounts. He feels remorseful for the lies that had already taken place to get us to this point, so I guess I can hope and pray that the only place to go from here is up :) Thanks for your concern dadfor6. I know that this isn't a perfect situation, but it is the best that we know as parents to do for our DS :)

Julie