Update on Mean Girl and DD

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Update on Mean Girl and DD
21
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 5:47pm

This is an update to the saga of my DD's ex-friend spreading lesbian rumors about her in middle school. We have now found out that this girl is going around to each of DD's current friends and telling them that DD "likes" them and that is why she hangs out with them. The few that are left are ignoring it, but apparently that is what happened with her last set of friends and they left her. She can't even have sleepovers now because of this!!
Anyway, I escalated to the school and was hoping something would be done. I called today and the counselor basically said they were monitoring the situation. She has been watching DD at lunch and she doesnt' appear miserable with her new friends and that it should just die out. WTF?!?!?!?!?!?
What happened to ZERO TOLERANCE?!
I vented to DH and he asked what I thought would happen. I said that they should have at least disciplined mean girl for rumors, sexual harassment and bullying, and disciplined DD if she was doing anything in retaliation.

It didn't even sound like they spoke to anyone who would have witnessed anything, just mean girl and DD...and mean girl's parents who requested a meeting with school.
DD is now in tears. She is desperate as even the adults in her life can't help her!
I can't beleive they are dropping this!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 3:03pm

You pose a good point - a lot of the true bullies that I've seen at my kids' school (maybe most of them) are really angry kids who come from pretty undesireable/dysfunctional home situations. But just about any kid can fall into the "jerk" category from time to time.

One thing I've watched closely for the past 10 years is my own DD. She's very strong willed, self-assurred and out-spoken. She has been able to argue circles around her brothers (J & S are 7 years older than she is, Z is 4 years older) since she was 5 or 6. She also has a talent for recognizing what makes people tick, what their strengths are, and how to make people feel good. All of this wrapped together, in the right kid, could make for a very mean girl, but ever since I've noticed how easily she reads people, I've worked very hard on teaching her to use that skill to help people, help them feel good about themselves. We got thru middle school with few incidents, so I hope I've done waht I've set out to do.
Rose

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