update on telling parent of drug use

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
update on telling parent of drug use
4
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 4:57pm
Well I sent my e mail, after several revisions...thats why I always let them sit awhile before I send something like that. I just realized if it were my son I would want to know, just so I could keep a careful eye out if nothing else. She appreciated my concern and had already suspected that he was using drugs. She is a really great Mom to her kids, and I know she will deal with him when he is home for the summer. He has alot of respect for his Mom and doesn't like to disappoint her, so I am hopeful that he will turn around and come to his senses. Thank you to everyone for your opinions and advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 10:09am
I'm glad it worked out and the other mom was open and receptive to the information.
Pam
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 11:14am
Good for you - you're a great mom for being brave enough to take a chance! I'm so glad it worked out and I hope this young man is sensible enough to HEAR what his mother is telling him when he comes home in Summer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Sat, 04-21-2007 - 8:00am

Glad it worked out the way it should.

Just curious...What did your DD think of your informing his mom?

When I ask DS to be open with me about drugs/alcohol, or that he can call me anytime to give him or his friends a ride home if someone cannot drive, he says, "But you'd tell their parents, right?" And I have to answer, "Yes, because it is illegal and I do not want them to later get in trouble with the school, and informing the parents will help prevent that." So, of course, DS tells me very little about those illegal behaviors among his friends.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 6:15pm
She didn't know ahead of time that I was telling his Mom, and I told the Mom that. I asked her not to betray DD, which I know she would never do anyway. I did tell DD his Mom's response and like me she hopes that his Mom can talk some sense into him and get him to stop. I know she has been very worried about him all year, even though they have been more distant. She was a little concerned he might realize the info came from her, but I don't think he will suspect, especially since his Mom suspected the drug use herself already. I probably never would have told except that he is going home for the summer, so his Mom can keep an eye on him. Its a fine line to walk to decide whether to tell a parent and my DD is much more open about what her friends do than my DS would ever be. I think it has to do with boys being more macho and if they tell it makes them appear to be wimps in their eyes. I feel guilty I didn't tell his Mom in the fall, because DD did tell me he was in a car accident in Sept.(he was not driving) but they were high and drunk, but I knew his Mom couldn't do anything from 4,000 miles away except to tell him to stop and that wasn't going to be effective. I just really hope she can get through to him.