Vent re: child welfare and counselling

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Vent re: child welfare and counselling
5
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 12:04pm
I'm so darn irritated right now. Without going into the whole story, here is basically the bag of mixed messages I got. My 15 year old Foster Son desperately needs counselling. Child Welfare TRIED to get him into it, but he balked and ran. So they told me three months ago that they wouldn't try any more, but I was welcome to take a shot at convincing him. SO...I succeeded in that - and here's how the message has changed over the past 2 weeks "If you can get him into any kind of counselling, he has an abolute right to choose his own counsellor and find one he feels comfortable with...only not "him" because we don't like his approach...and he's welcome to see "her", but we won't pay for it..and really we just want him to go see "S"." SO they've point blank turned down his first choice and refused to give me permission for him to see that one, they WILL give permissiong to see the counsellor I originally accessed through by benefits program, but they won't pay for it, and my employer won't either since I'm not legally his parent. I'm faced with somehow convincing him to see the woman that the department has dicated we see, or pay out of my own pocket to the tune of $120 an hour. GRRRR
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 3:25pm

Yes, I feel your pain. Buereacracy bites. As do some insurance companies, providers, etc.

Any chance you could contact your local BLUE pages and seek out a program that offers a sliding scale fee so that it's affordable and he can choose he likes? Catholic Charities and YMCA and YWCA all offer sliding scale fee schedules with usually more than one or two counselors available.

It kills me how those institutions fail to see that he will NOT benefit from counseling unless he sees someone he can relate to and feels comfortable with. What is the point of dragging him to that one person they will cover if the boy won't open up?!?!?!

Sorry, you hit a raw nerve as I am in the process of trying to find a new psychiatrist for my 16dd. Her's dumped her because she stopped seeing her counselor. And so the search begins again. Argh.

I hope things work out for you and the boy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2005
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 6:53pm

What a bummer!! I hope you find a counselor that he relates to AND that you can get reimbursed for. Too bad child welfare had to make this even harder for you.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-28-2006 - 11:10am
and the problem isn't just the money - I have to have written permission from the caseworker, so she can veto any choice I make even IF I'm willing to pay for it myself or get it funded some other way! It is frustrating not to be able to make decisions like a normal parent would. I know the theory is that they are protecting the interests of the child by having the caseworker be the legal guardian, but it ties the hands of the foster parents, and the caseworkers DON'T live with these kids 24/7, so they really don't always know what's best!


Edited 4/28/2006 11:11 am ET by mom2morgan
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Fri, 04-28-2006 - 6:06pm

I have to agree with you 1000%.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
Sat, 04-29-2006 - 8:39am

I know what you mean. I am also a foster parent and it is very frustrating to have a child in your home that you treat as your own, which you're expected to do, but constantly be reminded that he/she is not yours and you can't make decisions. It's a dilemma many of us face. The flip side to my situation is that I'm also a child welare social worker - front line child protection. So I wear two hats, with two perspectives. As a social worker I know that there are other funds to tap into for counselling, at least there are here - could be different where you are. If one funding body or insurance won't pay, there are bequest monies, donations, borrow from camp funds, something. There are ways if you dig for it. The only other idea I have, if they won't cover the cost of the counsellor HE wants to see, is to propose a cost share (but you shouldn't have to do this...). Your family needs to be supported through this and the system needs to be child focused.

Good luck!

cathy