Venting and question on scheduling...

Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998
Venting and question on scheduling...
15
Tue, 02-07-2012 - 12:56pm

I'm trying to get a sense of normal.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2001
Tue, 02-07-2012 - 1:44pm

My dd#1, 17yo, is just starting to put it all together.

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Tue, 02-07-2012 - 1:49pm
I think in ds's case it was when he was 15 and got a 'real' job (lifeguarding) so he knew when he had to be there and made sure we knew when he'd need us to get him there (vs. hanging with friends, etc. - by then he'd just finished up Eagle which probably helped too). Prior to that, he was pretty lax as well.

Maybe this particular incident will spur that in your dd since it's obviously 2 big things I assume she cares about. Might just do the trick!

Sue
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Tue, 02-07-2012 - 3:04pm

I don't think it's unrealistic to expect her to attempt to manage her own schedule, but it is unrealistic to expect success.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 02-07-2012 - 4:38pm

I would say that my 16 yr old DS really doesn't have that much to do as far as scheduling--he does have a p.t. job--maybe he works 1-2 shifts per week.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Tue, 02-07-2012 - 6:44pm

I don't think there is one set age at which children "should" be able to do things.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Tue, 02-07-2012 - 10:32pm
ashmama wrote:

I don't think it's unrealistic to expect her to attempt to manage her own schedule, but it is unrealistic to expect success.

Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998
Wed, 02-08-2012 - 10:17am

I don't expect complete success. I expect effort. Waiting until 9pm the night before a major conflict is not "effort." Especially when she asked for advice on how to handle it a week prior AND got a gentle reminder 4 days prior. My issue is her waiting until the last minute to arrange things with other people and it always causes a problem. Getting a sub a week ago would have taken 10 minutes and it would have been absolutely acceptable to her work place. Calling up the education director 4 hours before your shift with a conflict you had for a week is just inconsiderate. I absolutely expect more than that of my child and considering the sort of young people my DH has to deal with at his work (20 somethings) it's absolutely a lesson we want our children to take into life.

We always know a lot of college kids and one of the biggest complaints we hear is that they wish they were better at time management... they wish they'd been given more opportunities to handle their own schedule as teens. They have wonderful, well meaning parents but they didn't ever have to think about how to make things work. Their parents just moved them along to everything they needed to be at. It's sort of funny that they tell DD that she's lucky she's learning to handle this now while there are parents telling me she shouldn't lol.

As for downtime, she gets it when she wants it. It's always been her choice what to do and go for. She'll have weeks that are crazy busy and then weeks where she's mostly home playing her ukulele. I totally agree with you that downtime is important. It shouldn't be assumed that she has no downtime because she ended up with two events on one day this week.

Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998
Wed, 02-08-2012 - 10:19am

Wait, wait... the sky is blue... aaaand go... what color would you say it is? Sorry, but it's hard to take this seriously when you pretty much just take the negative of what anyone posts. Forgive me if I don't play along.

Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998
Wed, 02-08-2012 - 10:50am
Honestly, I don't know how families keep the two households things straight. I listen to my friends and their kids try to arrange between two totally different household schedules and it does sound very difficult. I can absolutely see a child having trouble keeping track of that!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 02-08-2012 - 10:56am

Honestly if it were my child, I probably would have kept questioning her every day until she said she found a sub for work--gentle reminders are not enough for a child that age.

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