I'm trying to get a sense of normal.
My dd#1, 17yo, is just starting to put it all together.
I don't think it's unrealistic to expect her to attempt to manage her own schedule, but it is unrealistic to expect success.
I would say that my 16 yr old DS really doesn't have that much to do as far as scheduling--he does have a p.t. job--maybe he works 1-2 shifts per week.
I don't think there is one set age at which children "should" be able to do things.
ashmama wrote:I don't think it's unrealistic to expect her to attempt to manage her own schedule, but it is unrealistic to expect success.
I don't expect complete success. I expect effort. Waiting until 9pm the night before a major conflict is not "effort." Especially when she asked for advice on how to handle it a week prior AND got a gentle reminder 4 days prior. My issue is her waiting until the last minute to arrange things with other people and it always causes a problem. Getting a sub a week ago would have taken 10 minutes and it would have been absolutely acceptable to her work place. Calling up the education director 4 hours before your shift with a conflict you had for a week is just inconsiderate. I absolutely expect more than that of my child and considering the sort of young people my DH has to deal with at his work (20 somethings) it's absolutely a lesson we want our children to take into life.We always know a lot of college kids and one of the biggest complaints we hear is that they wish they were better at time management... they wish they'd been given more opportunities to handle their own schedule as teens. They have wonderful, well meaning parents but they didn't ever have to think about how to make things work. Their parents just moved them along to everything they needed to be at. It's sort of funny that they tell DD that she's lucky she's learning to handle this now while there are parents telling me she shouldn't lol.As for downtime, she gets it when she wants it. It's always been her choice what to do and go for. She'll have weeks that are crazy busy and then weeks where she's mostly home playing her ukulele. I totally agree with you that downtime is important. It shouldn't be assumed that she has no downtime because she ended up with two events on one day this week.
Wait, wait... the sky is blue... aaaand go... what color would you say it is? Sorry, but it's hard to take this seriously when you pretty much just take the negative of what anyone posts. Forgive me if I don't play along.
Honestly if it were my child, I probably would have kept questioning her every day until she said she found a sub for work--gentle reminders are not enough for a child that age.