wearing glasses

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007
wearing glasses
16
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 9:00am

My son has been wearing glasses for about two years now, my daughter for a year and a half (both are 13). Although my son's vision is much worse than daughter's, she has generally been very good about wearing her glasses, but he hasn't. In the past I have asked his teachers to let me know if they noticed him not wearing them - there's no way he can see what's going on without them - but I haven't given it a lot of thought this school year. Every year the eye doctor tells him he needs to wear them at all times.


This morning, I was looking out the window as they were getting on the bus and I'm almost positive he wasn't wearing them when he got on the bus (he had them on when he walked out the door, but I think he took them off on his way down the driveway). I have a feeling he's not wearing them in school and may not have been for a while.


I have told him if he ever expects to get contacts, he has to first prove to us that he will wear the glasses - after all, it's a lot harder to tell if someone is wearing contacts - how will we know he's wearing them?! He picked out new frames last September so I don't think he's unhappy with them so much as he just doesn't want to wear glasses at all.


What I'm wondering is, should I try to catch him not wearing them, email his teachers and ask them what he's doing in class, get someone else in the school to check out the situation for me (school nurse, counselor, etc.), or just get over it and let him go through life squinting if that's what he wants for the sake of looking cool.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 9:19am

If it were me, I'd let him get contacts. I think he probably doesn't like the way he looks in glasses & kids are so appearance-conscious at that age. My DS who is now 14 has been wearing glasses for a couple of years. He does wear his all the time. He would love contacts--in fact, he did try them but he never found them comfortable so he went back to his glasses.


You could definitely check w/ your son's teachers--but they already have so much to think about I don't think that's an effective way to monitor him. I had a kid in class last year (8th grade)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 9:49am

If he wants contacts, I'd let him get contacts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 9:56am

All 3 of my

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 9:57am

I'd get him the contacts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 9:59am
Yes, I was joking about the squinting. But the more I think about it, I guess the real issue is I don't feel like I can trust him to do the right thing and to tell the truth about it. That's what I've got to figure out - it's much more than just the glasses...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 9:59am

I would offer to get him contacts myself but then I am an extreme myopic as are two of my boys-they were in contacts before the 6th grade. One actually wore them for sports starting in first or second grade(I put them in and out for him)

The reasons for not wearing glasses are not the same as for not wearing contacts. One is indeed about vanity and he is possibly getting teased. He will likely wear his contacts unless they are just too uncomfortable(which you should be able to find out in the optometrist office)

Obviously, there is a financial consideration here but if you can swing it, I would

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 10:09am

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Can't help you with that-comes with the age, I'm afraid. They start thinking for themselves, as they should. They don't want to disappoint their parents so they fudge the truth which is pretty understandable if you ask me. It would be a rare parent who wouldn't at the very least gently remind DS of how much the glasses cost and how HE picked them out. So much easier to take them off when he is out of sight and avoid all that hassle

You could certainly use it as a learning opportunity. Not in punishing him or telling him you are disappointed but in asking if there is a problem you can help him with as you have noticed he doesnt like his glasses. Then help him with his problem. It shows that he can come to you and MIGHT make him a little more likely to do so next time he has a disagreement with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 10:18am
As far as the glasses themselves - I'd let him try contacts.
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Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 10:41am

I really don't think you can do anything about him wearing them.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 11:09am
He has never said he even wants contacts. Also, he is pretty irresponsible - always losing things, forgetting things, breaking things, having trouble prioritizing etc. - so I don't think he's mature enough to handle them. I think that may be a teenage boy thing. It's amazing how different his twin sister is in that regard. Anyway, I think he'll be sticking with glasses for a while.

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