What to do about....

Avatar for jbgattuso
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Registered: 04-29-2003
What to do about....
8
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 2:33pm

Staying awake for kids curfews? DH and I feel like we never get a good night sleep anymore ;) We are early risers, 5:00 to 5:30 a.m. and also have a 6 yr old who gets up at least by 7:00 a.m. DS 16 has to be home between 11:00 and 12:00 depending on whose driving and what the activity is. Before he started driving, he had one friend who is 18 that we were so comfortable with, when DS was out with him, we just told him to wake us when he got in. (DS is Never late from when we tell him to be in) Now that DS is driving, I obviously can't go to sleep before he is in, also, with his GF when ever she is here, We have to stay awake :( I was just wondering what you all do and is anyone as tired as me? LOL

Julie

Avatar for mjaye2002
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 3:00pm

I can't really go to sleep when my ds16 is out and about driving either. We have come to a middle ground of sorts. I don't worry as much when I know he is just here in our little town--traffic is next to nothing--so, he drops by the house around 10 so I know he's in town and safe. I can pretty much head off to bed. I really don't go to sleep until he's fully home, but I luck out in that he has to get up at 7:00am so he doesn't stay out late. So, that probably doesn't help a whole lot.

As for the g/f, I guess I would make her leave at 10:00 so I could go to bed, at least during the week. If they wanted to hang out later than that, it would just have to be either Fri or Sat night. (I say "I guess" because I've not had to cross that road yet.)

Avatar for jbgattuso
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Registered: 04-29-2003
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 8:22pm

That sounds like a good plan, I was thinking that I know that some of the reason it feels so overwhelming is cause DS is in a city Musical and they are rehersing Mon thru Friday from 7:00 pm to 10:30 pm so then he usually does something with buddy's on Saturday and trys to see GF on Sundays....no wonder we're tired hugh LOL Well, the Musical is running the last weekend in June and first weekend in July, maybe we'll feel better when we can limit his time out at night to maybe 3 nights out of 7 :)

Thanks for the reply,

Julie

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 7:17am

Yes, I can totally relate. When dd19 got a bf in her HS Junior year we finally had to set down some curfews, especially for during the week. Ugh.

All visitors must be out of the house Sun-Thurs by 9:45PM. Fri/Sat the time was 11:30PM (I am a night owl, so sometimes I let it slide if they were watching a movie). My dd is more of a homebody so it was rare that she went out, but when she did...Sun-Thurs she had to be in at 10 and on Fri/Sat she had to be in by 1 AM and if she was going to be even one minute late, she was expected to call ASAP to let us know so we could relax that she was okay.

We never had any issues with dd19 and curfews, except occasionally, I'd get up in the AM and her BF would be on the couch---"He fell asleep mom and I didn't want him to drive home all sleepy". Yah - OOOOkay. LOL.

DD17 recently started going out more and she hasn't quit gotten the whole call home or mom will be worried sick thing yet. Her curfews are similar.

Like you said, H and I get up early and need our rest. Time enough for them to burn the candle at both ends in a couple of years when they don't live with us anymore, IMO.

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Registered: 10-16-1999
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 7:58am

"---"He fell asleep mom and I didn't want him to drive home all sleepy". Yah - OOOOkay. LOL."


Oh yeah, I've heard that one lately - I've woke up a few times to find N's b/f T on the couch too... only he walks everywhere coz he doesn't drive yet, and he lives like 8 blocks away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 3:40pm

Hi Julie!


I personally haven't had to use this idea yet but I remember filing it away in my brain for someday!


Set an alarm clock outside your bedroom door to go off at the curfew time of midnight or whatever it is. Explain to DS that it is his goal in life to turn that sucker off before it wakes you! If he's not there to turn if off you will be woken and possibly grumpy, not in the best mood to hear his

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Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 4:21pm

That sounds like a pretty good idea, although since we don't have any outlets in the hallway, probably wouldn't work for us.

As they get more experienced driving, I guess you can start going to sleep. When DD first started driving alone, I would usually have her come home by 11:00 on the weekends cause I did wait up (and she didn't go out late during the week). Then when she got her own car (after about 6 mos) I did let her stay out til 12:00, which is the curfew for kids under 18. I was never really able to fall asleep and I would be staring at the clock because she would always push it to the last minute and sometimes a few minutes later. My DH (stepfather) would make things worse by always commenting that it was getting close to midnight, as if I couldn't tell time myself. I didn't get that he was worried, more like he has to point out anything my kids do wrong.

Now that she's over 18, I have kind of relaxed, although I do feel better when I hear her come in and if I get up to go to the bathroom, I check to see that she's home, which really aggravates her. lol But I figure that if she is in an accident, or has a problem, someone will certainly call & wake me up. Now that school is out for the summer but I have to work, realistically I would be exhausted if I waited up for her all the time. But I do think it takes some time getting used to having them drive alone.

Avatar for jbgattuso
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Registered: 04-29-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 4:50pm

That is a good idea :) I know that while he is first driving though, no matter how hard I actually try to go to sleep, I can't :( I guess it will get easier with time, and the alarm Idea is great :) Thanks,

Julie

Avatar for jbgattuso
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Registered: 04-29-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 4:54pm

Yep I guess it does just take some time to get used to :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts as well though, they all help :)

Julie