What do you do when your teen is sick?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
What do you do when your teen is sick?
26
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 7:59am

My dd(15) didn't go to school because she didn't feel well. No fever, just doesn't feel well. I have had a long standing rule that if you don't go to school, no phone, no computer, no friends and you must stay home unless going to the dr. You may watch tv, read and relax. Is that too harsh now that she's getting older? She's a honor roll student and usually only misses a few days a year. My original theory was it would cut out "mental health" days. Just wondering what every one does.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 11:09am

While knocking violently on wood, my kids rarely get sick. ds3-9th grade-has been ill once in the past three years and missed two days for that bug. The two now out of high school were ill maybe twice in those four years of school

I dont restrict activity on sick days for any reason other than preventing contagion. I wouldnt allow them to go to friends or have friends over but I would allow computer and video games along with TV, etc.

I was surprised at the responses you received myself. Is it because parents dont want kids on the computer unsupervised while theyre at work and I'm pretty lax about that myself or because Ive not experienced my kids trying for a mental health day?

Anyway, I dont fit in on this one. I guess I dont see any reason to restrict certain kinds of screen time over others. As long as they're not infecting anyone else, I'm fine with whatever they do

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 11:30am
The reason we had the rules originally (from grade school age) was to make sick days 'boring' where all they could do was rest.
Pam
Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 2:41pm

Same here - as trustworthy as ds is, I know some of his friends take that kind of sick day and get to stay home and play video games and such all day. I didn't want him to think we'd condone that, and I know he'd also be tempted when a new game would come out (he only gets an hour a day of game/tv time during the week (grades not so hot this semester) so having the excuse to stay home because he's suddenly 'sick' while we work would have me a bit suspicious).

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 4:06pm

I would say that if your DD is an honor roll student and missing only a few days of school a year, I wouldn't be so restrictive. Obviously I wouldn't let her go out or have friends come over unless they were dropping off homework, but I really can't see much diff. between watching TV & using the computer. I can see the other people's points if they know that their kid is addicted to video and maybe pretending to be sick because they want to play videos all day, but actually if you're not home, how do you know if they are watching TV or playing videos?

My DS (age 11) is home sick today and I know he is really sick (for 2 days, but yesterday school was off) because he is sneezing & blowing his nose. I know he'll spend most of the day on the couch. My DSD (age 16) is also home sick. I believe she also has a cold, but I know that she fakes being sick cause she doesn't like to go to school. Unfortunately, my DH leaves for work really early in the a.m. If it was one of my kids, I would be home looking at them to see if they really looked sick, and maybe at that age, send them to school and figure if they are really sick, the nurse will send them home. But that would also cause other problems because he would have to leave work to pick her up. My 17 yo senior hardly ever misses school. She's an honor student and takes really hard classes and it's hard to make up work. Also, she loves the social aspect of school & being w/ friends. My DSD doesn't like school and doesn't get very good grades, which is why I would be more suspicious of her, so I think it depends on your child. Besides, if the child is keeping up w/ the work and doesn't have a test or anything very important, shouldn't they be able to take a mental health day once in a while?

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 4:23pm

A quick comment to: how do you know if they are watching TV or playing videos?

You can turn off the internet. That disables online games and XBox Live.

Sue

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 5:46pm

Luckily, neither of my two pushed the "I feel sick" button very often. Usually, if they ever said that, then odds were they really were sick. I am sure over the years tho' they took a "mental health day" every once in a while without my really being aware of it. Our only rule on staying home sick is "if you are too sick to go to school, then you are too sick to do anything after school." I never cared what they did while at home (play videos, watch TV, get on the computer) as long as they stayed indoors and had no visitors. Shoot, I wasn't there to enforce much anyway, not after they got older. They knew though that if they had something they wanted to do after school, then by golly, they better go to school that day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 6:41pm

When the kids were younger, we had the rule they could only watch tv or read if they were home sick, but as they got old enough to be home alone when they were out of school, I couldn't enforce that, so I quit saying it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 6:59am
It may seem harsh but my rule was, if you're not barfing and don't have a fever, you go to school. Just as you would go to work when you are an adult. This was the rule until graduation. So I never had to impose restrictions because if they were home sick, they were sick enough not to care about the phone and the computer, and I took care of them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 8:35am

Our rule is that if your are sick enough to stay home, you are sick enough to stay in bed. That rule will not change based on his age.

No computer, video games, phone or television. You can read or listen to music and you must stay in bed. (don't have to be under the covers, but you must be at least laying on the bed).

stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 1:01pm
Since we have broadband internet, turning it off or on just means flipping a switch so I guess they could turn it right back on. I couldn't be bothered doing anything more than that. My kids don't play video games that much anyway. My son is home sick again. I woke him up at 7:00 to see if he felt better but he didn't sound very good, so I told him to stay home. He slept until 10:30. I stayed home until then, but I had to go into work. He says he is feeling better now. He would probably be better to go into school tomorrow, but they have the day off for Veterans Day! I knew it was too good to be true that he didn't miss a day the first 2 months. (He has allergies and asthma, so if he gets a cold it is usually more serious and can affect his breathing. AT least no trips to the ER this time.)