What do You Think?
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What do You Think?
| Fri, 01-20-2006 - 2:07pm |
Hi,
Just wondering what you ladies think. My son has a lot of friends and I dont know all of them very well. Most of them I do know, but my question is most of the parents allow there children to spend the night at my house and dont even confirm with me to make sure that they are going to spend the night at our house, I find it to be strange that some parents dont even really know us but allow there kids to spend the night at our house. I'm just thankful that my son feels comfortable inviting them over here instead him going over there because he wont sleep at anyones home but his own.

I personally agree with you. My DD is 17 and I still will not allow her to spend the night at someone's house I don't know w/o my first calling them. However, I must add that calling the parents doesn't always mean there will be supervision. DD and one of her friends really pulled a fast one on us - a couple years ago, she had a friend pretend to be the dad. He assured us he would be home and that there would be no drinking, etc. Four months after the fact, I learned that the parents were out of town and this was a major party with an entire football team that my DD stayed with. I believe that she was safe and nothing sexually happened but boy I learned my lesson. From that point forward, I usually check out the parents with mutual friends or I may even drive by the house to make sure things at least appear calm on the outside. I know this may sound obssessive but my DD used to be the master at "Lucy-type plans" to get what she wanted. She's now pretty honest with us but still knows that the trust isn't fully back.
I guess I've gotten used to the lack of interest by other parents. I was very pleasantly surprised last winter when one of the kids staying at our house after Winter formal asked me to call his step-mom and give her our home phone number and to please explain to her that I don't allow alcohol, cigarettes, etc in my home and that I would be staying in the room with the kids all night. I volunteered my home # and address to her. I told her who my DH was and what each of us does for a living. It was wonderful to actually talk to another mom like myself!!
Start with a phone call, "Hi, this is Mrs. ......., Tommy's mom, Jimmy is here and we would like to invite him to spend the night. Is this alright with you? I can bring him by to pick up his things and meet you. Here is my phone number and address". Let your son's friends know that you care about them too and that you want them to be safe. That you'd do this if they were your child.
These days, parents don't take the time to get to know their firends or their friends parents as they once did. If you make the effort, I'm sure the other parents will appreciate it and maybe begin doing it more themselves.
Best of luck.
Just curious, why won't your son sleep at other people's homes? My DS used to be that way and it was a constant source of embarrassment for him. He just never felt comfortable, likes to be in total darkness, and someone's VCR light would be on or something and he couldn't get to sleep. Or, they would leave the hall light on and he couldn't sleep. He missed out on some short trips because of this. Again, just curious, I like to hear other parents' stories.
As far as parents not checking with you, I think they don't always know what's going on. If they know, and they don't call you, then I think they're just really stupid. LOL
Laura