What do you think about this?
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What do you think about this?
| Mon, 09-17-2007 - 3:42pm |
Some of you know that my dd15 is my "troubled teen".
| Mon, 09-17-2007 - 3:42pm |
Some of you know that my dd15 is my "troubled teen".
{{{Marie}}} I wish I knew the answer to your specific question about why she doesn't want her photo taken. My 17dd and your 15dd sound so similar it's scary. EXCEPT that my dd LOVES to have her photo taken and I can't figure it out because in every other way she avoids being near anyone in her home school, town, etc. She prefers to seek out the troubled teens in other towns so she can be as far away as here.
Ultimately, it is your dd who must live with the consequences of her actions (or INactions)
I think perhaps she just doesn't like school and wants as little to do with it as possible.
((((((((((Marie)))))))))))))
I would guess it really is the "invisible" thing.
There are worse things to worry about not having your picture in a yearbook. You have pictures of her, don't you? Why stress over having a picture of her in some year book? Why is it important to you that she has "school spirit"?. She either feels a part of the school or she doesn't. You can not force that. So, pick and chose your battles. Having her picture taken for some school yearbook should not be important enough to argue or stress over.
I am not in my high school year book nor in any university yearbook and I have never regretted it. It is at the level of "who cares". I don't even own a yearbook. There are enough pictures of me at that age in family situations that there are no problems for those I care about to remember what I looked like. They don't need some high school yearbook. For all the random people I went to high school with, who cares if they remember me or not. My sense of self is not dependent on whether or not a bunch of strangers remember me.
By the way, I was far from a troubled teen. I was a hard-working,over-achiever with a select group of friends but I was not a follower. My family very rightly and wisely said it was up to me. They didn't loose ant sleep over it.
If you want to have a nice picture of your daughter, take her to get her picture taken at one of those high end photography shops. Give it to your son a copy.
FWIW - I think you did the right thing by not fighting this - not only is it clearly one of those "choose your battles" moments, but maybe you'll be able to ask your DD the "why" question now. If you had insisted she get her photo taken - or made a big fight about it, you'd never be able to ask her, but maybe now you will get a little "in" with her.
It's been interesting to see how my DD's school spirit, and sometimes lack of it, emerges - it's definitely one of the ways that kids define who they are (or are not).
(((HUGS)))
Sue
It may be that she doesn't feel like she belongs, but that feeling is not uncommon among high school kids.
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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM
Well said!
I too am learning to respect the differences of my oldest and youngest. It's definitely a process
Will she regret it later on? Who knows. Those who say yes are likely those who cared enough in the first place and would never have considered skipping it in the first place. How much do we change-really(that's a post in itself)
I didnt care about that stuff. Regrets? I would say others have been known to make me feel regrets, most notably DH who acts like I'm a pariah because I didnt date in high school, attend football games, or go to the prom. But, within myself and true to myself? Nope-no regrets!