what do you think of this? Re; kid/job

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
what do you think of this? Re; kid/job
19
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 7:12pm
This is a little weird and I'm not sure what I think of it - help me process! My 15 year old ds went to a sleep over at a friend's house last night. My husband saw him this morning while out for a drive - and he was working at an apartment building tearing out carpet for the friend's dad (a professional flooring installer)! So we wait to see what he's going to say - and he calls at about 4:00 int he afternoon to say "oh yeah, and I have a job. I'll be working there for at least a couple more weeks." I asked "What is he paying you? Are you covered under workman's compensation?" etc. and he had no clue. So my thought is he should NOT have taken a job without asking permission (he doesn't see why he should have to ask), and the kid's dad REALLY shouldn't have GIVEN him a job without asking me, or at least making sure Austin called. Am I out of touch on this one? Anyway, I went over there and conveyed that to both of them. Got my questions answered ($8.00 an hour, and yes he's covered under insurance). And I told Austin that he could ONLY be allowed to work there if he lets me know his schedule in advance, and if his chores around here are done (and he doesn't have many - just to keep his room clean, empty the dishwasher, and take out the garbage once a week). He also figured that he was going to sleep over there every night so he'd be ready for work in the morning, and I said no way to that - he's already been over there so much I think they're paying more to feed him than I am. Maybe they don't mind, but *I* don't feel comfortable about it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 08-11-2006 - 11:13pm
No - I investigated, and he is covered - but that was the least of my concerns, anyway. I know the workman's comp laws pretty well here since my husband is an independent contractor,and they are much the same.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 8:25am

Some people get a huge buzz from what they perceive as helping, however misguided.

I would not allow that many 'sleepovers' at 15 for my bio kids and yes, I think you are correct in assuming it is even more important with this guy. Set a limit-bite the bullet if it means you have to do something to get him to work that early-and say you enjoy having him around too much for him to be gone that long(be careful it doesnt turn into being about doing the dishes but something positive)

Just my opinion but yeah, I think this family has overstepped(and have been there with DS2 who can be VERY charming-his best friends mom thinks he is the second coming)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 12:26pm
Thanks! I know a lot of people don't really understand about attachment disorders and such, and I've worried a bit about looking like a looney or a control freak - but I'm developing a thicker skin! Trying to remember that if it is best for my kid, I don't have to justify it to anyone. I've heard a lot of foster and adoptive parents say that the community tends to take "ownership" in these children more than they would with someone's bio kids, if you know what I mean. But thanks for reflecting back to me that they really ARE overstepping- helps me be sure I'm not just paranoid :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 1:07pm

I know EXACTLY what you mean.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 6:49pm
I kind of chickened out when I spoke to them...I went more for the angle that I'm not really allowed to make decisions like when he can have a sleep over, and if he can take a job, and that I could get in trouble for bending the rules too far. (it is technically true - he is supposed to have written permission from his social worker for either of those - and criminal checks from anyone he stays over night with - but I know she is happy to let me make those decisions). Anyway, *that* they seemed to understand, and then i talked more frankly with A. about it later, and how I need to be his "mom". I don't *think* he was deliberately trying on a new set of parents - I think he just wants to spend a lot of time with the son - but you never know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sun, 08-13-2006 - 9:31am

I doubt that A would have a clue if he were "trying on" a new set of parents... it's a subconscious thing, they don't know what they want as teens, just want to try to fit in and have a "normal" family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Sun, 08-13-2006 - 9:37am
It also depends on the province. Your husband has his own contracting company so,of course, he would be very versed in the Alberta Labour Laws. But still legal ramifications, tax laws are bound to be different. We have,after all, a different legal and political system from the US.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Sun, 08-13-2006 - 9:44am
For what it is worth, I think you have every right to be concerned. You are responsible for him and his employment should have been discussed for you and your husband. His employer (especially since he knows you and the situation with your DS) should had discussed the job with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-1999
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 12:54pm

I can only speak for NY- but I am a NYS WC Claim Adjuster.
Yes- WC is statutory- but WC covers an employer for his employees- ie employees getting a paycheck and that are listed on the payroll. Underage employees must show proff of working papers- in NY there are certain jobs an underage employeed could NOT legally perform- ie operating equipment- we have insured Lawn Companies that would hire kids to help with yard/lawn work- those under 18 could not be operating lawn tractors for example.
Now- if an underage kid was injured on one- we as the WC carrier would cover his injury BUT the employer would be subject to fines/and an increase in his Ins. premium for allowing this to happen. WC benefits are considered "no fault" coverage is given even if the employee was negligant in causing his own injury. However- in the case of the skill saw- if the employee can show that the employer changed or altered the equipment or removed safety devices they could be open to liability lawsuits (at least in NY)

Now- off the book employees can be expempt from WC benefits - if it is found out that the employee was being paid "under the table" usually these are not even reported to the WC carrier because the employer knows he is in big trouble.

So if the the Dad/employer is stating he has coverage-I'd ask for proof of his insurance- does he mean Liability Ins or WC Insurance? - again even if the carrier agreed to pick-up the benefits for an "illegal" worker- you can bet they'd go after the employer for reimbursement of the benefits paid! - again I am speaking about NYS -

Kathy

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