What exactly is a promise ring??

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Registered: 08-03-2004
What exactly is a promise ring??
5
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 5:54pm
Does anyone know what a promise ring is in today's generation?? My DD who is only 16 received one for Valentine's Day from her bf, an 18 yr old college student. The ring is beautiful and looks very expensive. And while it doesn't look like a traditional engagement ring it certainly could represent one especially since she is wearing it on her left ring finger. It is gold with a cluster of diamonds in the center with smaller diamonds running along the band. When I saw it my heart went in my throat and I was speechless. My reaction wasn't what she was hoping for so she was a little hurt that I wasn't very enthusiastic so when I asked her what exactly this ring stood for she said it was a promise ring but that was about all I could get out of her. My dh and I both like the bf very much and I can honestly say that he is the type of man I would want her to end up marrying some day but I'm a little upset thinking that he may have already asked her when she is just 16. Maybe I'm reading too much into this. Are promise rings common practice with todays teens and I just don't know it??
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 6:21pm
Jason (18) gave his girlfriend (19) a promise ring for Christmas.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 6:23pm

From what I can gather, a promise ring is a higher level of commitment than dating, but not as high of a level of commitment as being engaged.

Avatar for momtb4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 8:11pm

I don't know that they are common today any more than they were when they were kids. I had a couple of promise rings. Mostly, to me, there were just really, really pretty jewelery and made me feel special to have them. I imagine they didn't mean much more than that to the guy who bought it for me. Very few of my friends had promise rings.

In your case, I'd venture to say that this only means that he picked out a pretty ring, probably with her help. It probably means at this point in their young lives, they believe they will always be together forever and things will always be peachy and they will never, ever have a cross word with each other. A promise ring is a pre-engagment ring. He may have already asked her, but him asking her now and him asking her again in 2 years or more formally, those aren't the same thing.

So, next time you are blinded by those diamonds, be sure to catch her hand, tell her how totally beautiful the ring is and how lucky she is to have a nice guy in her life. She probably hasn't got a clue what it means, so you are reading to much into it. Share in her joy, then maybe hint in front of DD and DH that he hasn't bought you a pretty piece of jewelery like that in a long time...LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 9:38pm

my 20 yr old bought his 18 yr old GF one for Xmas and I was very leery

He shrugged and said she wanted it and it made her happy so he paid for it and didnt have to do any other Xmas shopping

I just hope it means the same to her as to him-ditto for your guys.

Always worry if theyre on the same page or not

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Thu, 02-16-2006 - 10:45am

Several of the girls at church have them and this is the way they explained it to me. One said that the couple promises to be faithful to one another until such time that they are ready for an engagement. My generation used to call them pre-engagement rings (although I never really got that either). One said that it was just a ring that signified that they were going together and had been going together for longer than your usual short-term flighty teen romance (my words, not hers).

The whole promise ring thing has been a major bone of contention between DD and her b/f. She wants one and he says the only rings he will ever buy for a girl are an engagement ring and a wedding ring. Every single gift-giving occassion that come up for well over a year now has resulted in this argument. DD doesn't realize that the more she fusses the less likely he is to buy her one - and I'm just fine with that!