what is legal with a 15yr old??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2011
what is legal with a 15yr old??
11
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 8:02pm

what do you do as a parent when your 15yr old is dating a 19yr old?? and then your 15yr old runs away to live down your ex husbands house (the father) and he permits this dating thing to go on,even when he found out they are sexually active?? I am at my witts end......I have to report this,agree or disagree need advise,fast

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2011
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 11:26pm

To go to court,is some what of a waste,the judge would just ask dd who she wants to live with,mom or dad,the system they don't give a crap about anybody,or the situation,the child is old enough to make up there own mind,who they want to live with,plain and simple just have to pray that she comes to her senses and comes the heck home.but in the mean time I will talk to dd and snoop around little,and pray this kid doesn't rune her life .

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 01-21-2012 - 11:59am

If you are the primary custodial parent and your ex refuses to return your DD to you, then go to court and file a complaint for contempt against him--and you can add that he is allowing her to date this unsuitable person which shows that she shouldn't be w/ her dad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2011
Fri, 01-20-2012 - 9:06pm

Sorry ment to put oldest dd,instead of ad,

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2011
Fri, 01-20-2012 - 9:03pm

Sorry I haven't replied since I wrote this post,but I was busy getting legal info on what I could do about this mess Turns out this creep is 3 months shy of the statutory rape law in my area,the age difference goes by months according to the police when they counted by their birth days. Its been a week oh h.... For me ,then found out this guy is involved in an escort service ,(no I am not kidding,omg!!!) then got all the proof my oldest ad and I needed on this guy,then we emailed the photos and the escort link to my ex husband. O by the way also found out that a ex girlfriend of his filed a protection order against this guy ,told ex,well he had this guy come over his house talked to him,the guy did admit he did the escort thing,needed extra $,my ex told them they needed to break up,which don't believe ex made them break up. Ad is still down with my idiot ex,wanting to transfer schools now,I put a hold on this action,for now! She will not called me,my ex accused my ad that she took sides with me,really scary that this has taken a strange turn,he is letting ad run from discipline,If I didn't check this guy out ,ex would of never of known anything about him. And was gonna let her date him as long as he knew ,My ex is being an a****h and letting dd play both sides,its to spite me. Im afraid that this creep was gonna get dd involved in this escort

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 6:39pm

Too bad we can't "Like" a post the way you can on Facebook, coz I'd "like" this one.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 4:20pm
I agree with Pam, there are a lot of things to consider under the circumstances. Its not an ideal situation, but there are also plenty of questions. When I was in h/s I was 15 going out with an 18 year old, but we were only a year apart in school because I started school as a 4 year old and he started school as a 6 year old because of when our birthdays fell. I think they others have given some good suggestions already, I just wanted to add how important it is to look at the entire picture and the possibly lifetime consequences of what could possibly be a knee jerk reaction.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 12:23pm
(interesting, looks like youngest now is 16 anywhere in the US)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2009
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 10:34am
Here, we have a 5 year rule. Age of consent for sex is 16 but a 19 year old dating a 15 year old would not be charged. You should first determine the laws in your area.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 9:12am
Here's a link to a list of age of consent in the US by state: http://www.ageofconsent.us/. I agree with Rose that your first priority should be getting her to the gyn and getting her on birth control if she's not already on it. As well as stressing condom use EVERY time. I'd also think very carefully about whether you want to pursue legal action. My 21 yo ds started dating a girl last February when he was 20 and she was 16. We did everything we could think of to discourage the relationship because the age of consent in our state is 17 and we were scared to death that her parents would press charges. All it did was make them sneak around to see each other. I still think the age gap is a bit much at this stage of their lives but they've been together for 11 months and now that she's 17 I don't worry so much about it.
I also know a 26 year old young man that just got out of prison after spending 5 years there for having sex when he was 19 or 20 with a 16 year old. They were 'going out', he broke up with her, she got mad and because she was under the age of consent at the time he now has a felony record and had to register as a sex offender.

Is the age difference the only thing that bothers you about the boy? Does he treat her well? If he was 16 would you be OK with it? Or is it that you think she's too young to be SA with anyone? Good luck and keep us posted.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 7:10am

I agree, a 15 y/o with a 19 y/o is not right.

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