what now??
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| Tue, 03-28-2006 - 5:44am |
Last night after school, my DD was sick and she called her dad she didn't want to come to her brother's game. He put her on such a guilt trip that she was sobbing and crying. He apparantly is jealous that DD and I actually had a good weekend together. The choc chip cookies got me into trouble. Anyway, I had to leave but I made sure she was OK enough so I wouldnt' have to worry to much about her state of mind. I goto the game with my DS. When her father and steps come in. I am actually calm, cool and collected. I have learned in this situation, ignorance and silence is the best medicine. I am sitting there with my book reading it and she says to me "stop hurtingmy kids". Kept my mouth shut, and she kept on stressing the "my kids" part. INside my head I am waiting for her to leave and all of a sudden, she grabs for the book I am reading because it's more interesting to me than listening to her babble. I defend the book and held on tight. SHe doesn't get it. We go nose to nose and she says "go ahead hit me." I back off of ugly *****. Then she yanks my purse out from under my legs and refuses to give it back. Now, she has my undivided attention because my purse is basically my whole life in a compact space. SHe rants and raves, I am praying that my purse is safe, and she tries to get my goat. Goat's dead, I am calm as a cucumber which pisses her off even more. See, I have learned a thing or two from people. She even tells me she just visited my DD at my house with me not there. I know for a fact that she is spewing several lies to get me going...dont' work. SHe finally leaves and I get back to watching my DS (who gets benched more times than he is in the game) and reading my book.
First off, my locks ae being changed and DD is not getting a set of keys. She is never going to be in my house alone again. If she lets my ex and his wife in my inner sanctum of life, what's telling that she wont' do it again. I'll take her to her dad's first before that happens again! Thank goodness I locked up the laptop and other valuables in my bedroom. That does have a lock and I use it with DD in the house.
My question to you all? Can I make out a police report stating that she physically tried to assault me? I want a report out there for history purposes.
You know what kept my cool???? Knowing that whatever they tell me the truth to be, I may not know their intentions or deliberate stabs at trying to antagonize me, But God does and some day they will be judged for all of their lies and alienation of my DD from me. I Know I am a good parent and they are the ones that are...I dont' know what they are..desperate, lonely, jealous,etc....
I don't care but I do care if someone wants to get into my face and rile me up because of my new calm exterior, it may just come to a battle on her part to get the satisfaction she supposedly is looking for.
Oh and about the "my kids" thing, I know she knows that my name is on the birth certificate and I have belly pictures to prove it, and baby pictures...hahahahahaha, that's why I can laugh about it, she's cookoo in the worst way.....hahahahaha laughing all the way to the police department....
LARK

Oh when my genetic pattern predispositions me to fits of somewhat controlled outbursts, I will wave a flag to the highest mountain proclaiming that she didn't get to me!!!
But she wants me to fight and argue. In public no less. We were in a crowded gym full of 5th grade basketball players and thier parents! I am not going to cause a scene but tonight when there is a game, I will sit with people closer to my proximity so she can't corner me again.
Called the police department, they said there is cause to have her arrested. I just have to come down and sign a complaint.
Will I or won't I ? I won't this time but if she tries it again, to be so aggressive, I will fear for my life and I will prosecute...
LARK
Make certain that you have witnesses.
Just be careful when you decide to bring the law into your life like that. Sometimes, it's just not worth whatever 'point' you're trying to make with the ex and his wife....you could be the one who comes out of that scenario looking badly rather than the way it was intended.
Always, above all, behave in the best fashion for the kid's sake, and, always try to take the high road. Kids are incredibly perceptive and your cool demeanor and handling of these types of scenes will be what stands out in your kids' minds...it will be hard to retell the story without anything other than outrage at the way ex's wife handled it but they won't really be able to embellish your behavior if you always try to do the right thing and...the right thing is to cause them as little embarrassment as possible and love them up.
There have been so many times that I could've dragged my ex to court or had him arrested, or painted him as the villain to my girls, but you know, it just wasn't worth it. He used to tell me that "'the truth will all come out when the girls are older - you'll see" and I used to always say, "you're right, the truth will come out" and leave it at that. I enjoy a very close relationship with both my girls and he has to beg to get them to visit him. I know that my dd's know who they've relied on thier whole lives: me. I have thier devition, trust, and love and I did it all without bad mouthing thier dad along the way - I figured they'd see his true colors soon enough and they have. I have nothing to prove because my behavior has spelled it out all along the way. He, on the other hand, has a lot left to prove and I think that's sad. Your ex and his wife will be lonely in thier old age because who wants to be around some one who is mean to thier mom and has nothing nice to say about thier beginnings?
I'm glad you were able to remain so cool -