What is WRONG with some Parents?
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 09-18-2006 - 5:25pm |
This is my third post today, guess I'm on a roll.
I was cleaning dd14's room this weekend b/c it had gotten so bad. I actually feel she's getting sick often b/c of the dust in that room! Trying to be good, I didn't search for incrinating evidence. I found a note on the floor she wrote but never gave to H. during summer school which floored me. I almost fainted when I read it! I remember the day, I was looking for dd and she wasn't answering her cell phone b/c she left it at her friend's house. I kept calling the house and she wasn't there, this over a two hour period and I was upset not knowing where she was during those two hours and made sure she knew never to do that again. Well, apparently she and N., who I still believe is a nice girl, went over to N's "boyfriend at the time" house. His mom was there, drunk, and showed the kids porn videos! Dd wrote that she laughed, and that N. was "traumatized". I don't know this woman, nor would I have allowed dd to go there if I had known her. But this kind of stuff just seems to be coming up and I wonder what happened to all the parents. I'm beginning to think I can't trust THEM anymore than I can trust a teenager these days.
I'm disgusted.

Unfortunately, we are alot like our kids and have to learn the hard way also. It only took once of dealing with DD's b/f's mom to learn not to trust parents. I've learned that some parents will buy the alcohol but be there to "supervise". Others will just tell the kids to have fun while they're gone. Still yet others rent the motel rooms for underage kids to party in. Those parents do not want to be parents. They want to be FRIENDS.
I don't know why, but nothing surprises me anymore. We have parents in town who routinely buy thier kids and thier friends boose, and some even smoke pot with them!
I stop and shake my head in wonder...I mean, I just do not get it.
I'm sure you won't be surprised that we have parents like this all over the town we live in. I've not yet heard of the drinking and drugs thing, but overall here, parents are more concerned with their kids' popularity than anything else.
My DS' best friend has an older sister that absolutely RULES that household. Her parents are terrified to tell her 'no' for fear she may get mad at them and throw a fit -- my DS has had the privilege of witnessing one, btw -- or worse, that she may {gasp} lose her standing with the popular crowd she hangs with if she doesn't get a car, wear the right clothes, etc. So, girl gets what she wants and DS' son has to make do with what he has. Makes me sick, actually.
I don't know what else to say -- seems like it happens everywhere. Some parents just seem to live vicariously through their kids and base their success and effectiveness as a parent by how popular their kids are ... and if their kids' friends 'like' them. Blech.
Edited 9/19/2006 11:20 am ET by hydrangea_blue
Well, now I've heard everything. Although, I'm sure some other parents will do something equally stupid> do you recall seeing a story in the news (although it was maybe just local) about a mother who was having sex w/ her young son's friends to make up for not being popular herself when she was young? And I believe she was buying them alcohol too. I think that situation is more common, but I have not run across it myself.
Luckily I think my DD's friends' parents are pretty normal.
I too learned not to trust parents some time ago. Because I am a busy working mom I have to rely on other moms to help me out with the kids sometimes due to my schedule. And I return the favours as much as possible. And I learned that unless I know the parents very well -- I mean on an almost intimate basis as close friends -- I can't trust them.
I have a handful of parents that I know well and feel I can count on to help with virtually anything. Some of them I even have stored in my cell and in my daughter's cell as people who can help out if the kids are stuck.
But others...oh boy I've learned. And I've learned that if there is a messed up kid somewhere, not far behind is often a messed up parent. My dd has a friend who she's known for years and there's been quite a few issues with this girl over the past two years. She's fallen in with some bad kids and has had to repeat almost all of her 9th grade subjects. She's the youngest in her family and has two much older siblings. Last year my dd was attended a school dance and her dad who usually drives her wasn't available. So I told my dd I would only let her go if she had a ride from her friends mom. I actually asked to speak to this woman to ensure that indeed, she would be going to pick them up. I was a little nervous about her not doing it herself but sending her other teenage daughter instead. My dd getting into a car at night with an inexperienced teenage driver wasn't my preference but this woman insisted that she would be driving.
Well....lo and behold my dd gets dropped off and wouldn't you know it the other teenage daughter was driving. The mom had gone out for a dinner date. Now, why would this woman say one thing and do another? It may seem like no so much of a big deal (everyone home okay whatever) but if SHE was responsible for the pickups why did she bail at the last minute without letting me know? Its a little thing but symptomatic of people who can't be trusted to meet their word...
So now...I only trust a select few and when it comes time to chauffeur the kids around typically we will do it and pick up/drop off all the girls rather than trust my dd with someone else.
I hear ya! And share in your frustrations!
This summer, I happened to be chatting about schedules/curfews with one of DD's friend's (the wildest, btw) moms and she said, "I've just told (her DD) to be home every few days to check in and shower and get some $$". My jaw dropped!! Now I know why this kids is so outrageous. She's been caught smoking pot and drinking and is constantly in detention for tardies.
Of course, now my daughter is furious with ME because I won't let her stay over at this girl's home for sleepovers and rarely at other times. How on earth can you trust the kid if the parents are irresponsible?
I'm with all of you on this also.