when best friends start to grow apart

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2011
when best friends start to grow apart
6
Sat, 08-13-2011 - 7:51pm

Hi, my 16 yr old dd and her best friend are starting to show signs of going their seprate ways,they have been best friends since they were really young. And my dd is devastated,I feel so helpless in this situation. This girl has been such a good friend to my dd and she has been to her also,well the other day dd was texting back and forth with her and she was extremely insulting to my dd,to the point where dd was in tears. dd let me read the text messages from her friend,which were insulting ,like oh can't hang out got things to do,and basically called my dd a dumb a ** for even texting her . She has even gone on fb and commented things to my dd like oh u have no friends,or nobody likes u, i have seen these comments that she posted ,really mean and just over the top i guess to make a total a** out of dd. they had their share of fights but this is totally over the top mean. The only thing i can think of is this girl has a boyfriend and may b alittle jealous of dd because dd and boyfriend get along good and are always joking around with each other,like friends do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Sat, 08-13-2011 - 9:51pm

Hi and welcome to the board. I only have boys and from what I understand the 'teenage drama' isn't quite so bad with boys as it is with girls. But they are now 21 and 24 and I can tell you that neither one are stil good friends with their high school friends. They are in occasional FB casual touch with some but that's about it. Hopefully your dd will start fostering other friendships - good for her for going out with another gf tonight. Does she still make an attempt to hang out with the girls on a regular basis? Even when I was in h.s. if you got too 'attached at the hip' with a boyfriend the girlfriends would stop calling after so long of getting turned down because a girl was too busy for them. Found that out the hard way my junior year. Hope things smooth out with the friend and/or that your dd is able to move on to other friends. Keep us posted!

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Sat, 08-13-2011 - 9:58pm

This girl is not your daughter's friend. Maybe she was at one point, but not anymore. I think the best thing you can do is to just help her see what a real friend is like. Does she have anyone that you know is a loyal friend? If so, encourage her to hang out more with this person.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sun, 08-14-2011 - 12:45pm

Welcome to the board!

It's rough when we see our kids start to separate from their friends, but it almost always happens sometime in high school. My DD is only out of high school for 2 years and she has just two friends that she's still close to - her fiance, who she's dated since the beginning of their sophomore year and her bff that she's been friends with since early in grade school.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Sun, 08-14-2011 - 9:13pm

There is a bumper sticker that says "MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2011
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 8:11am

Hello, I am sure boys are not as dramatic as the girls are,lol girls are all about the drama! It is so hard to watch my dd go threw this pain and she feels so betrayed. The whole weekend she basically was kinda speechless, I kept checking in on her and cheering her up,but this is gonna take awhile emotionally for her to move on. I feel so bad . All I can do is be there for dd when she wants to talk about how she is feeling. It's hard when something like this happens,because it basically put a damper on my weekend also, well karma's a B*** and this girl will get it back someday lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2011
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 3:08pm

I joined this message board today specifically because my 16 yr. old daughter is having