When one leaves the nest...

Avatar for soccermom03
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
When one leaves the nest...
3
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 1:46pm

This weekend we move DS18 into his college dorm 530 miles from home. DS is a natural born leader, very charismatic and good looking, and is just one of those "bigger than life" people. He's always garnered more than his share of attention everywhere he has ever been, probably including here at home. I am sure he will be a raving success at college.

DD15 has always lived in his shadow. She is a beautiful girl, artistic and graceful, standout athlete and a good student....but always "(DS)'s Little Sister". She is popular among her classmates and very social, but even some of her friends gravitate toward DS when they are over at our house. I was talking with my mother the other day about DS' big move and she remarked that it will be interesting to see how DD "blooms" now that she will be out from under DS' shadow.

For those who have had one leave the nest, how did it affect the younger sibling(s) still at home? Did you see a difference?

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 3:25pm

My younger dd said that after her sister left for college she felt like she was being "watched" more. LOL.

In the weeks leading up to dd19's departure last fall, we were very busy getting everything ready, buying things she'd need, you know, just everything. Plus, her semester did not begin until October 1st, so it was later in the season and that meant that we were also in the process of yard cleanup and getting ready for the winter. Here in New England, we actually do have to batten down the hatches, etc. Haha -

Anyway, I think in all the preparations, dd17 got lost in the shuffle and when dd19 left and the dust settled, suddenly we were throwing all of our attention her way. Along with older dd's leaving, we also lost all the older teens that used to hang around our house, so there was a void. DD17 became the filler of that void and I guess she just felt a little under the microscope for a while till we found our groove again.

Each of my girls have shone in their own distinct way - they are very different from one another and so their interests really run all over the place. I bet your dd will come out of her shell a little more without her brother around. But my only bit of advice is to allow her to have her own quiet time and space. haha - I think of it now and I can't help but laugh when dd17 told us she felt like she was under surveillance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 6:01pm


My oldest attends university about a 2-hr drive from here. My youngest is going into his last year of high school.

My youngest became more independent since his sister went away. He is more his own person.
It could be that he is just older, not that his sister is away. It has helped that there is no longer that constant reminder to the teachers who his sister is.(My DD was highly regarded for not only her academic achievement but her maturity as well.) It also has helped that he has had different teachers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Sat, 08-11-2007 - 1:27pm

Hi,

My daughter's boyfriend sounds like your son....tall, very goodlooking, athletic and outgoing. He has loads of friends and easily makes friends. Girls are very drawn to him too. He has a younger brother at home. Now that Sam is leaving for school, I will be very interested to see how his little brother (little brother being 6'4") blossoms, both at school and at home. I suspect that he has always felt that he couldn't measure up to his older brother, so consequently didn't bother trying. I think it's difficult for a younger sibling to try to live up to an older sibling. It should be fun to watch!