When should parents get involved????

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2007
When should parents get involved????
2
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 1:16pm
My 13 yr old just got smacked in the face at the local girls softball game by another girl that is just the evilest little thing around, she is the epitamy of the queen bee and has caused other girls to get involved and in turn are socializing her out of everything. I expressed my anger to the coaches in the middle of the game but the girl was still able to play so I feel that my outbursts were taken litely. Since they were friends before all this drama started, should I get involved or should I just wait it out. Note: This has been going on back and forth since Jan. I am fed up!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 8:55pm

First off - hugs to you and your DD! What an awful situation!!

Usually, I try to let my DD solve her problems - when she was younger, I was more likely to get involved, but as a teen, she needs to figure stuff out. Also, teen friendships go up and down - what seems huge and friendship-ending one day has blown over the next.

BUT - being smacked in the face seems different. I would not be happy if another girl actually HIT my daughter! IMHO, I'd go back to the coach and ask for help in resolving this. Did the coach witness it? Were there other girls around? Did your DD say something (maybe you didn't hear it) that affects how the coach reacts? I think there should be no tolerance for physical violence, but I guess I'd have to find out what the league's policy is about this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2005
Sat, 07-21-2007 - 1:02am
As a coach, and a board member at one of the clubs my kids play at I would say that the caoch and/or the organization CAN get involved and probably SHOULD get involved. Most leagues today have a zero tolerance policy on fighting, and it's not limited to opposing team's players. A league recently tossed a player AND his father for fighting and the father then threatened the ump. They are done with the league for good, meaning if the dad has a younger kid he won't be able to attend any games with that child if they play in that league.
Having said that, it will probably only make the situation worse with the girls. I would totally leave it up to your DD how involved she wants you to be. If you she wants you to try to stop it I would start with the girl's parents, not the coaches.
Good luck.