When will DD see the light?
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| Tue, 06-19-2007 - 8:36am |
This is mostly a rant--sorry. I am so surprised and, yes, a bit disappointed in my DD who is 15 and just finishing her freshman year. As I've posted here before, she had her first bf this year. They went out for about 5 months before he suddenly and unexpectedly broke up with her to date another girl. She has continued to carry a torch for him, and he encourages it--especially since he has now broken up with that other girl, supposedly because he "has feelings for" my DD. That was nothing but an excuse, which is obvious to everyone besides my DD. She is constantly inviting him over or trying to get together with him. He has shown no real interest in her whatsoever. She sees he is getting together with other girls....he has done everything besides telling her to get lost, yet she doesn't get the point. She is very strong-willed and determined, so I guess this isn't that surprising. But I worry that she is making a fool of herself and is setting herself up for a really big fall. I have reason to believe that she may be doing or offering to do some "things" with him in a desperate effort to get back together. He says he doesn't want to do "nasty things anymore" because they aren't dating. What the heck does that mean?! So far, she has had a strong sense of self-worth and self-respect, but I fear that she is going to lose these (or perhaps already has). She is very pleasant to me and DH, but apparently she secretly sees us as the enemy because we're the reason she is "missing out on all the fun." We have been nothing but nice to this boy, specifically so she cannot blame this situtation on us.
Thanks for letting me vent. I'd like to bring up the subject of keeping one's self-respect and reinforce the importance of people liking you for who you are, but it's hard to have a conversation like that with her. Any good movies that might bring this up as a talking point?? Other suggestions?? Thanks.

I really don't have any suggestions for you at the moment, but something might come to me as I type.
In light of the terminology kids use here, I don't know how alarmed I'd be about his comment about "doing nasty things" - my nephew and his wife refer to "doin' the nasty" to mean they had sex.
If it helps, my DD has had the same BF since summer before 8th grade (wasn't even allowed to call it that then) but they have liked each other for a very long time and are very attached an involved in each others' lives but every so often I sense a shift...Last summer it was DD who needed some space. It can be a rollercoaster and very hard to watch DD go through it.
Hang in there!
Sharon
I think a lot of relationships go through "needing space."
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She doesnt sound that way from her actions
I find people who have 'control issues' are often looked up to and respected-seen as being strong willed and determined(words you used to describe her)
Is it possible this fits her?
As in she fully expected to control this relationship and cannot accept that she couldnt?