WHO PAYS FOR PROM?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2005
WHO PAYS FOR PROM?
22
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 11:12am

I'm sure this topic has been posted over and over - and the same question asked over and over - but here we go again ....

My daughter is a freshman and she has been asked to the prom by a Junior (our high school has one prom for both Junior and Senior students and their dates). Despite my feelings of not knowing this guy very well or the group he hangs out with, I've told her she can go (this is a story on it's own and one I won't go into right now).

He asked her a week ago and called her yesterday and asked if she could pay for her own ticket. Ok - he's only 16, doesn't have a job - we can help with this - no problem. He calls again last night and asks her to chip in for the limo also. As I start to add up the cost of this event (and it's not even HER prom)I'm starting to see that HIS prom is going to cost US a lot of money.

I don't want to take this experience away from her, but I don't want her - or us - to be taken for granted either.

So far she (we) is paying for her ticket (which includes dinner), a portion of the limo cost, his boutinere, her dress, her hair, nails, shoes, etc. and he is paying for .... his ticket and hopefully a corsage for her.

Is this all normal? I know these kids don't have a lot of money - is it just the experience - he wants her to go with him to his prom.

I'm confused because I figured if he asked, he paid for anything specifically related to the prom expenses and she paid for her personal items needed to attend his prom (dress, hair, etc.). Is this wrong - they aren't even dating, but they aren't going as friends either - he wants to date her.

Any feedback or advice? I want to be sure to not step in where it's not necessary to - don't want to ruin this for her - but don't want to be footing the whole bill either.

Thanks,
Jem

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 10:36am
Whoa! This is all making me think harder about homeschooling in HS! Just to avoid the cost of the prom and the "everybody else gets to" regarding a limo and overnight thing.
LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 12:13pm

I'm sorry - homeschooling to avoid the expense of a prom (which, homeschooled or not, if they don't attend their own - they may get invited to anyway--my DS is invited to 3 proms this year - plus his own!).

The prom is a rite of passage - I'd hate to have my kids look at me later on down the road and be angry because I took that away from them - because of the expense.

As for the overnight, my son has stayed out for the weekend after the prom two years in a row - he goes to a friends' beach house - where said friends parents are in attendance the entire weekend.

Limo? No such thing - they get bussed to the prom - they get bussed back to the school. This is the smartest thing my son's school ever did.

And - if they're not in school Monday after prom, they don't walk at graduation.

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