Why do the girls wear SO much makeup?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Why do the girls wear SO much makeup?
14
Sat, 08-19-2006 - 11:01pm
I took my daughter to freshman orientation the other day, and I was astounded at how the girls dressed and wore their makeup. In my wildest younger days, I never had the amount of eyeliner and mascara on that some of these young girls were wearing. Their jeans were almost down to their cracks and they had these giant hooker-like earrings on. I thought it was such a shame, because it made them appear trampy. I am hoping that they aren't actually what they appear to be, but then it made me wonder...who will my daughter end up being friends with? We just moved here...she's a petite, cute girl who wears a smidge of mascara, a bit of blush, once in a while, some very pale eyeshadow, and lip gloss. Mostly, she wears no makeup...but for special times, that's her regimen. Anyway, she dresses rather preppie/cute and has a lovely figure, and I just hope that she will stick to her own style rather than conform to what these other young ladies are doing. I am still in shock to some degree and I am hoping that I only saw a small % of the kids attending the school, since her graduating class has over 600 kids.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sat, 08-19-2006 - 11:23pm

My experience has

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-20-2006 - 12:40am

i have to agree with you 100% ...
my daughter is a goth/emo - whatever you call it kid and she's a great kid with terrific academics... i prefer her look to the ones described with the huge earings and the too revealing clothes but I know better than to judge the kids by their outfits...i'm in new york and you do see all kinds so i'm sure it's the same everywhere - and everyone finds their clique that they feel most comfortable with ...

rachel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 08-20-2006 - 2:38pm
Oh, I'm not assuming they are slutty...it's just the appearance they give! I remember the one time in high school, this guy came to pick me up for a date, and he was wearing holy faded jeans, motorcycle boots, and the chain from the belt loop to the wallet. Oh, and a jean jacket too. This is going back 25 years ago, but anyway my dad pitched a FIT when I got home and said all kinds of nasty things to me. My dad was a teacher at my school, and started asking around about the boy, and all the teachers said "Oh he is THE nicest boy, and he's a straight-A student!" Needless to say, my dad felt like a jerk. I didn't continue to date the guy for other reasons, but my dad never said anything like that again.
I was just concerned because it was surprising to me to see how these young girls looked, and that their parents were okay with it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 08-20-2006 - 2:43pm
again, I'm not judging...I'm just wondering, at 14...why so much makeup? If that's what they like, it's fine. My step sister was a goth way back when that whole thing was kinda new. Black lipstick, black nails, long black overcoats, etc...we always wondered when she'd get out of that phase, but her friends were always very nice and respectful, so no one in the family particularly cared.
I guess I'm just naive about 14 year old girls these days, since mine (and my 12 year old) have that very straight-laced appearance, as did their friends at our old school. I'm sure she'll find a group of friends that she fits in with...heavy makeup or not. It's just concerning when you see a bunch of young girls looking like budding Pamela Andersons, that's all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Sun, 08-20-2006 - 4:08pm

My DD calls it the "niner" syndrome. Each new crop of high school girls "over dressed". They
want to be cool so they go out for the make-up & the "tready" clothes. The older girls have lost interest and/or had developed their own style/look and have a niche for themselves. She would laugh because you could tell the "age" of the girl by the amount of make-up she worn. The older (upper year) the girl was, the less make-up.

As the girls mature, the extremes of dress calms down.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 12:21am
you know, I noticed that in her school too. She's in the band, and the 11th grade girls she got to know during band camp were very much into just wearing T shirts and comfy stuff...even when not at camp. Alyssa is a non-conformist mostly, so she'll probably stick with what she likes and fits her!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 9:46am
My daughter will be a senior this year. She's also been dressing "goth-emo" for the last two years. She's very artistic and fashionable. I can handle the look but sometimes the eyeliner can get a little extreme. She's got the ear piercings but now she's begging us for a lip ring. We've said she has to wait until she's 18 but she claims she'll do anything to have one put in early. Have you had to make any major decisions regarding the look? I've already accepted the dyed black hair, make-up, and ear piercings. I just can't seem to accept any more changes. I'm worried that this will affect her part-time job, and how people perceive her. Any thoughts?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 12:49pm

I posted about a lip ring before. My dd14 says she would take it out if she were going to a job interview, whatever. In any case, it's not happening. She also has braces and I'm going to have the dr. tell her that it would be bad for the braces (I don't even know if it is but he'll say it probably). I will probably move the time up for her navel piercing from age 16 to age 15. She wants that too.

My dd also dressed in mostly black, dyed her hair black, black nail polish, ear piercings (all I would let her do). In her case, she was depressed. After nearly a year of counseling, she is picking bright colors and totally moving away from the "goth" look. She no longer wants her black hair and I hate to tell you that black is the worst color to get rid of: her hair will have to be bleached to get the black out, then she wants it a light brown and promises never to dye it black again. I am going to have to take her to a professional to get it done and it will take a few hours!

I also think she did this "look" in 8th grade to help her feel "tougher" (she's actually very sensitive and artistic, like your dd). After all, 8th grade is where girls will tell you "What are you lookin' at?" when you happen to glance their way. 8th grade was a tough year. SO glad that's over.

I'm not saying your dd is clinically depressed, but something to think about...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 1:31pm

I have to agree with Rose and Rachel, and I would like to add: Please don't assume that parents are "okay" with this. Maybe you have a teen that does everything you ask, but most of us aren't that lucky. You have no idea what kind of battle preceded at home, and what they might have looked like if they hadn't reached a compromise. Don't judge the parents, and don't judge the teens. Just think, "there but for the grace of God go I". Some of us have to pick our battles with our teens. I have a very headstrong dd14 and if I fought every battle I wouldn't have any energy left for the truly important values I am trying to get across. When you have a teen that is depressed, lying to you, and cutting herself which are just some of the things we've been through, suddenly make up is not as important.

I'm sure your dd will find plenty of preppy kids to hang out with - and that's not necessarily a good thing!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 2:33pm
Thank you for your response. In regards to the "goth" look, I thought too perhaps she was depressed as she was diagnosed two years ago with a chronic disease. We have taken her to a psychologist but she feels everything is OK and that Allison is just expressing herself as teens do. Regarding her hair, she has naturally dark, dark brown hair so the black is only about two shades away from her natural color but it's a shame as it will take a while to grow out as you know. You try to tell them that and of course, they have to learn these lessons on their own. My heart broke because she has such beautiful curly dark brown hair that she's dyed black and straightens every day of the week! I'm hoping she'll mature more her senior year and trying to "impress" or "act tough" won't be such an issue for her anymore. I have to agree with you in that we do have to pick our battles. I'm not happy with this look, but it's relatively harmless and she's a great kid with good grades, etc. My concern comes from her new request about the lip ring. I think, regardless of their age, it can be disfiguring, not to mention the thought of how people will perceive her or label her.

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