Wife and I disagree on rules
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|Sat, 06-08-2013 - 3:35pm|
I'm 36 as is my beautiful and loving wife. We fell in love when we were 14 and we had a kid when we were both 18. We are the epitome of opposites attract. She was the pretty and popular wild child high schooler and I was the quiet book worm. I think we both kind of envied certain things about each other. I envied her ability to be social and make friends easily, and I think she envied my ability to not procrastinate. Anyway, now we have a very social 18 year old daughter and she's 99% her mom and 1% me( She has my eyes. Eyes she loves to roll at me). She loves to drink booze,sleep all day,skip chores and homework(she's graduated but still you get the idea), and talk back( it was interesting to watch when my wife would do it to her parents, but as a parent, it's awful).
I don't think I make life too hard for her, I ask him to do her homework and pick up after herself and we talked about a summer job which won't happen. I'm not a yeller, I wasn't brought up in a yelling household so I don't yell. Some Saturdays and Sundays it'll be like 5 in the afternoon and she won't be up. I feel he should be doing something productive so I try to wake her up but my wife will stop and tell me " Don't, she's sleeping, she needs sleep". She doesn't feel she should have a job until she's 21 like she(my wife) did. I feel she should go to college( at least CC) at some point but she doesn't because " she hates school". I give her chores and there's a 95% chance she won't do them and she'll run to Mom and she'll stick up for her and say that " She'll have plenty of time to do chores when she's older". She bought her a car when she was 16( Lexus) and hardly consulted me. Everytime I try discipline or rules, Mom shows up with " She's a teenager, she's going to make mistakes". or the ever famous " She's just having fun".
First time I caught her drinking at 14 she lied about it and said the alcohol smell was Scope mouthwash. I, trying to be the responsible one, asked my wife what the punishment should be for lying and drinking, and yes, I'm one of those " No drinking until you're 21( or at least 20) kind of parents. Her response was " well that's just what teenagers do". She got "grounded" until the next morning. School is(was) the worst, I wouldn't have had to have been on her case if she had tried, she didn't though. On her final she got a 22% on a test, she answered 8 questions of 36 and left the rest blank. I know she's bad at math so i tried to help her and asked to see the homework questions, she didn't do them ( they're optional) and her mom's response was " it must be a hard chapter and cut her some slack". She gives her allowance money for chores she didn't do. I feel under minded and like the bad guy because I try rules and I don't spoil her and let her have free reign like her mom.