Winter Formal Etiquette Question
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| Tue, 02-07-2006 - 10:01am |
My dd is going to her first formal dance this weekend. I am confuzzled (one of her favorite words) about what to expect and so is she. She got a very cool dress ($26 at a local resale shop!!) and shoes, so she's all set for that.
Do girls get guys a corsage for a dance like this? He looked at the dress (and showed it to his mom!) to determine what color tie he is getting, but didn't mention flowers or anything.
What's the tradition?
So far, they've only gotten together here and his parents have been real sports about driving him out (40 mile round trip). I can't decide if I should offer to drive one way or not. She goes to an all girls school and their formal is next month. She's planning on asking him & I thought I might offer to pick him up and take him home for that dance.
Advice?
jt

Guys around here (in the South) still get girls corsages and the girls get them boutonnieres. When oldest DD asked her best friend to take her, I offered to drive them but his mom said no this was going to be done right. Her DH would bring her son to our house to pick them up and they would bring her home.
Youngest DD has done it both ways. In middle school, I usually did the driving simply b/c she dated boys with parents that were either not around at all or they had to work that particular night. I preferred it that way unless I know the other kids parents real well. I took her to her b/f's house the day of his senior prom so his grandfather could see them (he's housebound) and they left from there. For the next two formal dances (her winter formals) he has come to our house for pictures and they've gone in her car but they stop by his house for pictures and to let grandpa see. His grandfather is apparently quite taken with my Dd's long red hair and got a little upset b/c she wore it up once - she will never do that again.
Not sure how we will handle transportation to her senior prom. I think he will come to our house and they will leave in her car (it's much nicer than his truck) and meet friends in town and go in a limo the rest of the way but they may all meet at our house and have the limo come there b/c they will be coming back to stay the night at my house (at least that's the plan now). I'm sure they will figure some way to go to his house to let his grandpa see. If they all meet at our house, I plan to invite the parents over for pictures and maybe a cookout after they leave. I'll have the house clean anyway so why not. It'll make the night pass faster and I won't dwell on the fact that my baby will be graduating soon.
Probably more than you wanted to know but just an idea of how we do things in our area.
Hope she has fun!!
Edited 2/7/2006 10:25 am ET by tobylady
jt,
I hope your DD has a great time at the formal! I think I'd have her get him a bouton ... well, one of those little flower things for boys, and since it's formal, I'd expect he would probably get her a corsage, too. Great find on the dress, btw! And I do think I'd offer to do the driving when it comes time for your DD's wf.
Okay, I have to share this story of DD's winter formal with you ... oh, the drama!
First off, wf is a very odd event, imo. It's at Sea World (that in itself is weird to me. I've heard Sea World does really nice events; I just hope they don't choose the pavilion near those stinky flamingos!). The theme is 'Snowflake Soiree'. Snow flakes in San Diego? And at Sea World, no less? Doesn't quite work for me, but it's not my dance. And lastly, it's a Sadie Hawkins style dance -- girls ask boys.
Well, the Sadie Hawkins part has pretty much gone the way of snowflakes in San Diego. DD did get asked to go by the boy that has been crushing on her all year. She turned him down, rather than lead him on and spend the evening with someone's who's company she just doesn't enjoy that much.
A couple of her friends were appalled that she turned the boy down, (how could she!?) and have made her feel very guilty about doing so. One even went so far as to tell her if she didn't go with J, she shouldn't go at all ... it would be rude! Anyway, DD felt terrible so decided she wasn't going to go at all.
Then she got together with another friend, and they decided they would ask two boys that they both knew, who went to the same school (not theirs) and played football together, just to go as friends and have fun. DD was just getting ready to make the call when her friend called and said she couldn't do it; she chickened out. So DD didn't ask the other boy, either.
Now, the dance is THIS Saturday and DD has her panties all in a knot because now she REALLY wants to go! As of last night, she was going to ask her favorite guy friends at school if any of them had any friends that needed a date, because she is available! If, in the odd chance, anything at all comes of that, I don't know how we're going to pull it off, because she doesn't even have a dress!
We had some friends visit from Virginia a few weeks ago, and the mom told DD if she needed a date, she'd fly her 15yo DS out to take her! DD hemmed and hawed and of course, now it's much to late to even consider that option. He's pretty darn cute, too! (Course now she says "why didn't you just make the decision for me and DO it?!")
Oh well. Not much I can do about any of this. DD did get FOUR different invitations for 'anti-formal' parties and get-togethers, so it's not like she won't have something to do on Saturday night, but ... you know how it is!
Anyway, I hope it all goes well for your DD! Be sure and post some pics when you have them!
Julie
Edited 2/7/2006 11:27 am ET by julesnalpine
Oh your poor dd! I'm guessinng the "friends" pressuring her about the boy are just plain jealous. I hope she decided to go with friends at least. I think sea world sounds very cool as a location for a dance (flamingoes notwithstanding). I'll send you some real ohio snowflakes if you'd like!
And I will post some photos...
jt
jt,
Thanks, but I'll pass on those snowflakes. I had my fill of snow at Yellowstone on those snowmobiles over the Christmas holiday. I do wish we would get a little taste of winter though, it's been 70+ degrees lately! I'm actually sitting here in shorts. No rain at all yet, and it's quite worrisome.
I thought it quite honorable of DD to decline the boy's invitation, rather than take the opportunity to get a free ticket to the event, like some girls would be inclined to do.
Well ... it's doubtful that DD will end up at the formal at this late date. It's 'couples only', tomorrow is the last day to buy tickets and the tickets $85 dollars per couple! Guess Sea World is expensive.
Well, if by some small miracle, she gets a date, I'll be scrambling tomorrow!
Hope it all goes well.
Julie
jt
I lived in Long Beach for a short time before we were married. I remember wishing for just a touch of winter.... I'm rethinking that now ...
Aaaack! DD just called me -- is this a hair-brained scheme or what?? DD has a friend from her middle school who apparently texted her today with the news that her good guy friend is available and willing to be DD's date at winter formal.
DD knows very little of this boy and I know nothing.
Egad -- the way these teen brains work is beyond my comprehension.
Pray for me, please.
Edited 2/7/2006 6:45 pm ET by julesnalpine