To Work or Not To Work
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| Thu, 05-17-2007 - 7:37am |
Another thread down below made me start thinking about this. A couple of posters said that they felt it was important for children to help pay for their education. I worked during high school part time and all through College part time, but believe me, my money was just extra spending money.
Our 16 yr old has worked all yr, but truely not more than 10 or 15 hrs a week, once again, just enough for him not to have to ask for money all of the time. Actually, I really don't want him to work too much this summer. I think that kids need a break in the summer....re-charge time. During the school yr, between school, school work, more theater, this last yr he played football too, there is no way my child could make a contribution to his college financially. Now, we are planning, I will be working to help get him through, and we do hope that he will recieve some scholarship money (we tell him that is how he will help).
I guess my point to this is that I would have to disagree with the fact that all kids should work to help pay for college (if they don't have to) We want him doing all of these extra things while he can...while he is a child.....work comes quickly enough.....
Soooooo Ok, do I really have my thoughts messed up on this one LOL
Julie

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This definitely depends on the child and the family's financial situation. Dd is only a freshman, but she is not currently academically inclined. She has always done just enough to get by, with socializing being her only real purpose of going to school. She says she is going to college and I keep gently reminding her with her "just squeak by" grades - she's on her own. She only started talking college when she began dating J and while I was thrilled he gave her that aspiration, I keep waiting patiently for his high academic influence to rub off on her too.
If she was an over achiever I would gladly give her a "free ride" - but I've made it clear I'm not paying for her to get a degree in partying (her uncle took the 7 year route at a 4 year school, and he and dd I swear are cut from the same mold)....
As far as summer jobs, I'm torn on this. Again, if she was a high-academic achiever during the school year, I would be prone to give some down time. She tends to be spoiled and take money for granted, so no, she will be getting a job this summer. She's never had to really work for anything. She did work last summer, but the pay was so pitiful it didn't even pay my gas getting her back and forth. She wants to do 2 cheering camps, a lacrosse camp, weekly tumbling classes and driver's ed. I have the ability to get her into driver's ed for free (my sil in runs the school), but I am tempted to make dd pay for it so she will take it more seriously.
On the flip side, if she's working I will never see her :( I want her to stay my little girl as long as she can, but like I said before she tends to be spoiled and taking the tiara would do her a world of good. She and I had a long discussion about it a few weeks ago and she completely agreed with me on all aspects, especially when I pointed out "the real world" wasn't too far off.
Her relationship makes me side with working too - she is so wrapped up with J, that she has no life w/out him. If she's not working, she would be either with him or lounging around waiting for time to be with him.
Hi, Julie,
IMHO, I agree that "work comes quickly enough" - for the rest of your life, basically and that if it isn't needed they shouldn't have to work during college, especially if they're a motivated student that sees and appreciates the value of the opportunity of a college education. I think the appreciation factor is key. A friend of mine had to work three 10 hour a week jobs during college and recently told me that her grades would have been a lot higher had she not been so exhausted most of the time.
There is one situation where I would consider asking them to work and its one thing that I've seen with some of the girls at my DD's HS: Parents allowing some extremely spoiled girls to go to very small, expensive and somewhat easy to get into private colleges when the girl has never shown any interest in academics whatsoever and is basically approaching college as primarily another social opportunity. And this, after four years of a private education that already cost an arm and a leg. I feel that if my DD had been like that and just "had" to go to XYZ expensive college after four years of goofing off, I would ask her then to put some money where her mouth is or choose to start at the local JC.
All in all though, I wouldn't choose to have a child work during college unless it was necessary for the family.
"I'm not paying for her to get a degree in partying (her uncle took the 7 year route at a 4 year school, and he and dd I swear are cut from the same mold)...."
Oh I whole hearteadly agree with this! We do talk to DS about the fact that each semester at school will only be paid if he lives up to his potential. He lives that way now with priviledges, and we do believe that it will be a priviledge that he will have his college paid for, one that can be taken away ;)
Julie
We are paying for all of my children's Bachelor degrees and I do not want them working through college. After that though, they have to pay for it on their own. I am a firm believer that education is first priority and working would only be a distraction. They are not allowed to work during the school year unless it is for one day of the weekend. It is a major distraction and I do not want my kids to get the idea of just working instead of going to school because of a quick buck. Only Shea has just recently got an after school job, but only works like 8 hours a week. Reagan and Bradford only work weekends. Honestly, I think that they have done better in school because school was their top priority. During the summer they can chose to work, but I am not forcing them to. Plus, they already have so many other commitments to sports and clubs on top of their school work. Also, in the idea that "work comes quickly enough," is true. With that I want them to be kids for as long as possible before they have to work 50 hours a week until they are 65.
I do not think that it is wrong to have the child to work while in school, but if its not crucial to the family, I wouldn't.
Stephanie
I don't let my kids work during the school year, not even weekends. Both my husband and I are strict about good grades and taking challenging classes. We push our kids to the limit, and because of that we don't make them work. My oldest, Gavin, who is in his first year of medical school did not work at all during undergrad. There simply was not enough time. He took a year off before going to medical school and that was when he worked in labs and small time jobs to gain the experience and see if med school was the path that he wanted to go. Jacob is essentially working now because he is at the Naval Academy and that is his education and a job and its free.
During the summer they have to be doing something productive whether its working, volunteering, summer school, or educational programs.
Kate
My DH graduated from the Naval Academy also, That I think contributes to the fact that he doesn't believe in working (like at a store) during high school/college. It is funny though, the mind set of that school,They study ALL of the time. I graduated from MSU and although I did well....I also had a realyy good time *grin* We call the Naval Academy the "un-college" Thank goodness though, there are those people out there with that drive, determination and loyalty to our country :) Good Luck to your DS!
Julie
We're in a situation where my kids don't HAVE to work in high school, but we've always expected them to have summer jobs because we didn't want them to spend the entire summer in front of the tv. DD wanted to get a job at 14 washing dishes in a diner, and my DIL helped her get that job... but it was with the understanding that her grades not suffer and she could only work a few hours a week. She'll be 16 in July, and this school year she has been working 6 hours on most Saturday and Sunday mornings, and when she isn't cheering she also works 4 hours one evening a week. It has been wonderful for her - her grades have actually gone UP since she's been working, and she's much better at budgeting her time than her non-working peers. Somehow she also manages to get time in with her b/f! For her it's been a positive thing - she was much less focused before she started working. Our DSs also worked while going to school, for some of them it had the same benefits as it did for DD, but for others - not so good. I think it definitely depends on each individual.
My DIL worked 30 hours a week while attending a pricey, demanding private college full time. She just graduated last weekend - with a 3.8 GPA. She's been married for a year and a half, so in addition to working and going to school, she's had to do all the housewife things that comes with being married - and because of the demands of my DS's job, he's not able to help her out around the house a whole lot, but does what he can and is very protective of her study time. At one point DIL told me that she felt bad coz he'd gotten into an arguement with some of his buddies over her... they'd all come to the house to watch the ball game one Saturday afternoon, but got really rowdy and DIL couldn't study, so DS moved them all out. I'm told the guys were NOT impressed. I'm very proud of my DIL's accomplishments, but again, her lifestyle is not one for everyone.
I'm going to weigh in on this, too -- YES!!
I was lucky that my grandmother had said long before I was in college that she would pay for college for my brother and I as long as we lived at home or on campus while we did it.
I always worked in high school part time. Half the money I made had to be saved and half was for me to do what I wanted with. The money I saved bought my first car and after that I was allowed to keep all my money but I had to pay for my car repairs, gas, insurance etc.
My summers were usually working part time and enjoying myself the rest of the time. It WAS my break and relax time. It was my time to be a kid and have fun.
I was also sick a lot in college so I only worked one day a week. My parents and grandparents said my grades were most important and did not want me working a lot so that my grades would be the best they could be. I finished college with a 3.75.
I think parents should help as much as they can but I also think children should keep their choices reasonable and close to keep costs down.
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