Worried about 16yr old daughter who is shy and not being social.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Worried about 16yr old daughter who is shy and not being social.
9
Fri, 04-27-2012 - 9:32am

Hi My 16 year old daughter is a wonderful kid with good grades, plays on a volloyball team and talks and hangs with

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
At this age, what I'd do is just offer some choices. Have the girls over without the group. Suggest other extracurriculars that might be of her interest that wouldn't involve these people - maybe even volunteering somewhere or consider something in a field she might like to consider for a college major. Hopefully if she finds new friends in those areas things will open up again.

I can tell you that ds19 was active in grade and middle school but more or less shut down the first 2 years of HS, even though he swam soph and jr years. He was happier to come home and play XBox live and talk to people around the country than hang with kids at school that he'd lost respect for. Eventually he found a couple of solid friends and did stick with them, even to the point of keeping up the friendship while in college now, even though the 2 don't go to his U.

I think this is the fragile age of gentle suggestions. Say for example she loves animals - is there an APA or shelter where she could spend some time volunteering? Go for something way out of the norm. HTH - hugs.

Sue
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Do you think you could get her to go to therapy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004

Thank You Sue!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004

Thanks for the input!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

It sounds like she has a lot of interesting things to do over the summer so she won't be home moping around--I think that's great.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Does she have a job? My kids found good friends at jobs they had during HS. They are still close to some of those friends, & my kids are 28 & 30. I also think therapy is a good idea. As your dd goes to college, and moves out into the world, she needs to learn how to make new friendships, and how to get along with people who have different values than she does. Shyness can become extreme, even disabling, so you should think about treating this now, rather than later.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999

If she wants to avoid the backstabbing and drama I would recommend becoming friends with boys!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Thanks... Looking for a job now!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2012

I also have a 16 year old daughter, who is wiser than her age at time.