Worried about my 18 yr old

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Worried about my 18 yr old
4
Sun, 04-08-2007 - 5:51pm
Hello. I could use some help from someone out there. I have an 18 yr old with emotional problems, diabetes, and depression. He does not live with me. He lives with his father on the west coast. I have been separated from my son since he was 13 yrs old when he went away to boarding school. I have a 14 yr old daughter who lives with me. I have no communication w/my former husband. I want my son to go to school after college. My son doesn't have any motivation, goals, and his grandparents were going to allow him to live with them so that he could attend college. I see no future for this child. He cannot live with me because he is destructive and violent. He refuses bipolar medication and don't know how to turn him around. Does any one have a similar situation? My life as a mother is very isolated and I don't know how to help this child.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sun, 04-08-2007 - 6:29pm

Sorry you're dealing with this. Unfortunately, I don't know what to tell you. You say your DS refuses to take medication for his bipolar, he's destructive, violent and unmotivated. Maybe it's best he doesn't start college right now, because I'm afraid it's just going to be throwing money away if HE doesn't want it. Maybe a year or two having to face the real world of working for minimum wage will wake him up and make him realize the need for more education - and maybe he'll discover a decent paying job that doesn't need any further education. One of my DSs is making pretty darned good money in contstruction, no need for further schooling in his job, the boss moves people up to more responsible (and higher paying) jobs as they prove themselves capable.

Hang in there, I hope something clicks for your DS soon.
Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Sun, 04-08-2007 - 8:25pm
Thank you for your reply. Your thoughts are appreciated. I will await the end of the school year to see if he actually graduates. It's funny - My hard work and education as an adult doesn't seem to have affected him at all. I've tried to be a good role model, but I can't expect that to be the deciding factor in his life. All my attempts at leading a decent life and being a role model haven't done it for him. Your suggestion about him working for a couple of years and seeing how the real world operates may be a lesson for him. I appreciate your response.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Sun, 04-08-2007 - 9:30pm

I'm not sure you have any sort of active role here - if you have been separated from him for 5 years and don't communicate with his father....

but, there is a strong national organization for kids with BP and their families. It sounds like mental health services (not just medication) is what your son needs. Check out this group: http://www.bpkids.org. You'll get information and support.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 12:59pm
You might also want to post this on the Troubled Teens board (the link is below) because you mentioned feeling isolated.