Worried - daughter's secret e-mail?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2000
Worried - daughter's secret e-mail?
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Wed, 09-05-2007 - 6:54pm
This has me worried. I have a 13-year old, she's a good kid but like all kids is very immature and naive. We have always checked over their e-mail but lately one e-mail account in particular has become very inactive, yet she still spends the same amount of time online. DH & I are worried she might be using an e-mail account we don't know exists - she has some friends who are pretty sharp on the computer, one who's a bit too grown up for her years. Some upsetting e-mails were coming in lately and we'd like to find out somehow if there are any SECRET e-mail accounts on this computer we don't know are there. We are strapped tight for money, just scraping by, so I can't afford some of the programs I've read you can put on your computer. Is there a way to do this???

 


~~joannaran~~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 7:39pm
It's interesting that you bring this up. My DD's Facebook account has been fairly inactive lately and I've been wondering if she set up another one I don't know about. Can you check your computer's history--assuming she hasn't erased it? Then you might see if she's gone to a website that might host another email account. I'm sure others here will have more ideas.
Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 8:09pm
I think the first thing I would do is take a look at the history. Hopefully she hasn't erased it, but I'm pretty sure that even if it was erased there is somewhere in the computer that the info is still stored, I just don't know how to get to that. Maybe someone else knows. You can also check the drop down from the address bar to see if anything was typed in there and check favorites too.
The thing is that there are so many places that you can get e-mail accounts that they can get them very easily. I know I have our regular one that comes right into the computer and holds 3 different addresses. I also have one that is a Hotmail addy that I got when I ordered something for a gift and I didn't want anyone to see the e-mails coming in about it. We also have one on Verizon and my kids have them on some remote sites too. There are a lot of free ones out there.
Have you asked her about what her e-mail addy is and why she isn't getting many e-mails any more? My dd doesn't get hardly any e-mails, because she does a lot of text messaging and IMing. Consequently when she got those going she dropped the number of e-mails tremendously, she also gets messages on her My Space. That could be what is going on too.
I'd ask her about it and see what she has to say. She may not have any secrets to hide at all. You never know.
Kristie
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2000
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 8:16pm
Everybody is mentioning "history", but my thought is if she IS being secretive, surely she would delete things from there, too. Like you said, it could be nothing is going on at all, but you cannot be too safe nowdays.

 


~~joannaran~~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 8:45pm
She may well have erased the history, but there's no harm in checking. I've found, at least with my kids, that they never quite cover their tracks completely. There's usually something they didn't think of!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 9:20pm

Do you see ANY history at all when you look at history or at the address bar? Because if you do then she isn't erasing history. It is very difficult for someone to just erase one or two selective web sites from an entire list of history. I am very tech savvy and could not tell you how to do that.

If you are really, REALLY suspicious and concerned, buy a "keylogger". "Keyloggers" are security software that you install on your machine which logs every keystroke enterred by users and which they do not know even exists on the machine. You review the information yourself by enterring a specific password or combination of keys. Look it up online or go to a local "spy" store. Its been used alot for these purposes but mostly for spouses to catch cheating husbands/wives emailing their lovers!! (LOL)

But let me ask you a question, why are you concerned? Why do you not trust your daughter? Is the computer not in an area of the house where you can supervise what she is doing? Is she using the computer off hours when you aren't around? What do you believe she may be doing? Has she given you reason to suspect her?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 9:51pm
To delete just one web site from the history list, they can simply highlight it, right click it and select "delete."
Not trying to be officious here. My only point is that browser history is not really a very good indicator of what's actually going on with your teens and computers. It seems that if a teen wants to hide something from you on the computer, they are generally quite adept at doing so.
I agree with diamondslb; a key logger is a drastic step. First, I'd try allowing her computer use only during times when you're around. Sever the connection if you know how, or simply take the router or modem when you're not there. Hover and frequently pop in unexpectedly. If she freaks and switches or closes screens when you appear, insist on seeing what's there before she has a chance to delete it. Based on her behavior, you should be able to tell if there's an issue.
Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 10:47pm
I agree that kids are pretty good at hiding things, but sometimes they don't think we know how to look for them. After all mom and dad don't know that much about the computer. Another thing I have found to be interesting is to check out what has been searched. If you go to google and click on the blank space where you type in what you want to search, you will get a drop down of all the different things that have been searched. I just discovered this by accident and found that someone had been searching some mighty interesting stuff on my computer. Unfortunatly there is no way to tell when it was done or by who.
I think Daddioe gave you some really good advice. I used to do that to my dd, walk in and she would shrink a window, it was usually that she just wanted her privacy. She finally learned that if she shrunk it down I would be insistant on seeing it, if she didn't I usually just walked on.
But do have a talk with her about internet safety. You are right that you can't be too safe with the things that are going on these days.
Kristie
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Avatar for weberdns0
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Registered: 08-25-2000
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 9:04am

Even if your daughter deletes the history chances are she hasn't had time to delete the temp internet files.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 12:46pm
There are some programs that allow you free downloads on a trial basis.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2000
Fri, 09-07-2007 - 7:39pm
I do pretty much trust HER, it's the creeps out there that worry me! 13-year olds aren't exactly mature, we just want her safe. She's a good kid.

 


~~joannaran~~

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