Wow, my 17 year old daughter is a criminal, and only two people offer any suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2008
Wow, my 17 year old daughter is a criminal, and only two people offer any suggestions?
20
Fri, 01-21-2011 - 10:17am

Wow, that is disappointing.

w/r,

OmegaBruh

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Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
Has your dd been evaluated? If so what is her diagnosis? does she have a history of behavioral health issues? It is one thing to look into resources regarding sociopathic behavior and another to be evaluated and diagnosed as such. Has anything happened in her past to cause her to act in this manner? If your dd's moods/behaviors have changed from the norm, I would look into any reason before possibly labeling her a sociopath. This was the case for my son, and we didn't realize it until much later. He was diagnosed with PTSD, depression, anxiety and pychotic disorder NOS, at age 11. At the time we couldn't figure out why he was literally coming unglued at the seams. My son was the victim of sexual assault, and now at 17 his life is a mess. So I just wanted to let you know that sometimes kids act out because they are hurting, and it can really spiral out of control.

Since the first psych diagnosed your dd as emotionally age 12 and you don't agree, get another opinion if this would make you more comfortable. But keep in mind, she will be a young adult very soon, and you need to do what you can to get her on track emotionally so that she can cope in the world.

My ds has finally agreed to get mental health services and assistance for his drug use, so we will do what we can to get him on track, and to help him get some coping skills in place before he turns 18, so hopefully he will feel he doesn't have to turn to whatever drug to feel better when he is upset.

I hope you can get the issues worked out with your dd, but one thing I have learned along the way is that they must want to meet you half way, otherwise it is a losing battle.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2008

Bunnierose: I am curious as to why you waited till he was 26 before you let him fend for himself?

w/r,

OmegaBruh

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2008

First of all I do appreciate your long and helpful post.

w/r,

OmegaBruh

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2008
She took the MMPI-A 2.5 years ago. Dr. S. said she has the profile of hardened criminals in jail. That is a quote. "This profile predicts a poor prognisis for change." Dr. S. is a ABBP Diplomate in Clinical Psychology. If I could scan the report and post it I would.

w/r,

OmegaBruh

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997

Thanks for coming back and explaining.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999

Bunnierose: I am curious as to why you waited till he was 26 before you let him fend for himself?

He actually was on his own from the time he enlisted in the USMC just after he turned 20 (after having spent a couple of unproductive years in college) until he and his wife separated a little over a year ago when he was 25. When the separation was new, he was devistated and really did need a soft place to land - but it's now well past time for him to move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Would I have "made" my child take medication if I were in your place?

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

Both my daughters are ADD+, and I was the pill police for many years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2008
Its interesteing Sabrtooth, I have always been portrayed as the horrible and evil step-dad (note: bio dad was nothing more than a sperm donor), because I was not the type to just say "ok." I established (best as I could) limits, consequences, bedtimes and dietary requirements. I established chores, and made her start doing her own laundry. I expected academic excellence. It was all met w/ resistance. Mom is viewed as the softy she can get over on. Now my 7 year old did steal some candy about twice. Both times I dealt w/ her swifly. Its been a year and it stopped. My 7 year old cried and felt bad. My 17 year old, at the time, was like "whatever; if you had of bought it for me I wouldn't have had to steal it." At the explusion hearing, my 17 SD said "my parents stopped giving me allowance, they don't give me any money." As if its our fault!

w/r,

OmegaBruh

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