Your chores, their chores

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Your chores, their chores
10
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 8:57pm

How are chores are divided in your household? Specifially, what chores do you have?

My son challengingly asked me yesterday what chores "I" do at home ... because he felt he did everything. We did talk about it, but he didn't seem to think paying bills or taking care of the care qualified. I didn't even mention all the organizing for parties and summer camps.... seemed too fun. Or the driving to his activities. Or the nagging at him to get his OWN chores done. LOL Those wouldn't qualify in his book.

After thinking through the list of chores at home, I thought... am I missing something? It does seem like DS does a lot in comparison, but I know I'm usually doing working and he's not... what's up with that?

So I wondered what "chores" other adults have, and what they have their kids do.
Can you please share?
Karen

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 8:01am

Me:
laundry (trying to get ds to help)
handwashing
ironing (my least favorite; a good hour/week)
grocery shopping/meal planning
cooking
housecleaning
feeding pets (ds helps on occasion)
letting dog in/out (ds helps)
setting table
dishwashing
putting away dishwasher stuff (ds helps rarely)
bills
cat box cleaner
holiday decorator

DH:
lawn care
car care
vacuuming
home repairs
home updates

DS14:
some laundry
pet care/walking the dog
clearing table/filling dishwasher
helps with cooking sometimes
helps bring in groceries
cleaning his messes/room (not often enough)
...not enough.

Sue




Edited 4/10/2007 10:41 am ET by suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-1998
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 9:25am

I do the lion's share of the work, but little by little, I keep handing over additional chores to the kids (16, 14, 11 and 4--yes, my preschooler has chores).

I do the big stuff in the house--clean bathrooms, sweep and mop floors, meal plan and grocery shop, cook, oversee the laundry, and empty the litter box. I also do the banking and pay the bills, plus maintain the family calendar--doctor appointments, scouts, school events, etc.

Most of the chores in our house are group affairs. DS16 mows the lawn, but the younger boys (14, 11) rake, pick up sticks, and pick up fallen apples in the autumn so that the 16 yo can mow. On garbage night, DS16 collects the upstairs trash, DS14 does the downstairs trash and DS 11 gets the recycling. On grocery day, I shop, then the three boys carry the bags upstairs from the car to the kitchen. At dinnertime, one kid sets the table, another brings the condiments to the table, another pours drinks. (My 4yo loves to set the table.) Everyone is responsible for putting dishes into the dishwasher. DH cleans up the kitchen and puts away the leftovers. My 4yo helps me unload the dishwasher when it's clean. For feeding the cats, each boy has two days he's responsible for feeding them, and my little girl feeds them on the seventh day. Everyone is responsible for stripping his or her own bed, the boys carry the baskets down to the laundry room, either DS16 or I actually do the laundry, the boys carry the baskets upstairs, I fold, and they put away. Any of the boys will help with vacuuming, if I ask.

I do most of the cooking, but if I prepare something ahead of time and leave it in the fridge, DS 16 and DS14 are good about getting it into the oven on time so that dinner is nearly ready by the time I get home from work. DS16 is the primary babysitter for his little sister, but in tandem, the 14 and 11 year olds have been known to watch her for short periods (1 hour or less).

This summer, I plan to hand over litter box duty (if it's their day to feed the cats, it's also their day to empty the litter box--except for the preschooler). I'm also going to teach bathroom cleaning and divvy up that job among the boys.

And that's how we do it at my house.

Elizabeth J

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 9:33am

DS3 does all his clothing laundry and sheets-we do his towels

He cleans the bathroom only he uses

He takes the kitchen garbage out daily.

He cleans the cat litter(needs reminders and often DH just does it)

He mows and fertilizes the lawn for which he gets paid by the event

He carries in most the groceries(I put them away except for soft drinks)

DH and I do our laundry, plan meals, grocery shop, cook, pay bills, vacuum, mop and dust the house, clean the other bathrooms, pick up dog poop, load and empty dishwasher, feed tha animals, take care of garbage other than kitchen, plan and execute the doctor and dentist appts

DH and I both work full time although we do home office several days a week which I think helps cut commute time and often we slide in under 40 hours because we arent engaging in office banter(just IVillage banter)Flip side is we are home making dirt and dishes.

I am not a picky housekeeper, especially about rooms no one sees.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 10:50am

Wow, all your kids are very industrious. The 2 teenage girls do their own laundry. My DS is 11, so I just have him collect his dirty clothes and carry the basket down to the basement. They are all responsible for cleaning their own rooms, to varying degrees. My DSD is extremely neat and her room always looks great. My DD will clean her room, then let it go for weeks until her clothes are all over the floor. Since April vacation is coming up, I will tell her that it would be a good time to clean. My main thing is getting them to pick up after themselves so they don't leave a mess downstairs. They do stuff like vacuuming. They take their own dishes & put them in the dishwasher. My DS will set the table. My DSD likes to mow the lawn for extra money. I realize that I don't even know how to work the gas lawn mower. Even after I got divorced, my ex would come over to mow the lawn. At that time, we had a pool in the back yard, and the front lawn was pretty tiny, so it didn't take that lawn. After I got remarried, we decided to fill in the pool and put grass in the back yard. Considering the small amount of time you get to use a pool when you live in the Northeast, it wasn't worth all the effort.

My DH doesn't do that much since he works about 55 hrs. a week, so I feel bad to nag him. The one thing I will not do is clean his cat's litter box. If he has a day off during the week, he'll grocery shop & cook dinner and he does laundry.

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 10:57am

Man, I wish I got support for the long work hours - I 'only' consistently work 45 hours; gone from home 7-5 daily at a minimum, but often have to work weekends and some late nights. It sure would be nice to get more home support - the biggie there is ds is pretty good about cooking on my late nights, or very happy to order pizza!

Sue

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 11:01am

I would definitely say that I do the lion's share of household chores. HOWEVER, dd17 does do some chores, such as pick up her personal space, scrubs the bathroom every week, helps fold laundry, unloads the dishwasher, loads the dishwasher, sorts laundry and brings it downstairs, and in the spring she helps clean up the yard. She will also bring out the garbage and dust the house. H takes the garbage out to the curb along with the recycleables. H also mows the lawn (I weedwack and do all the flower and veggie garden work - ALL of it!) and does dump runs with yard brush, etc. All of us do the set up for the pool and the winterization as well. But I do the weekly pool maintenance - actually once of dd's friends loves to vaccuum our pool!

H and I divide the food shopping, but I do most of it. I organize when and how the chores will be done and I also do all the floors - I have a thing about floors.

There are times when I feel like I do it all, and I do, but it's more about me not delegating properly or asking for help.

DD17 used to complain that she did too many chores. After we all got up off the floor from laughing so hard, I asked her to make me a list of of everyone's individual chores. She retreated to her room and never came out - she just said, "nevermind". Organizing and running a household is not an easy task and is not to be taken lightly. Your ds obviously doesn't know the first thing about it - perhaps you should make a list of all the things you do on a daily basis for the betterment of your home, your marriage, your kids, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 8:24am

In our home caring for the family and the home is considered to be the responsiblity of the entire family, not any one person. We believe in being in service to one another so it is expected that if one is doing a chore then those who are not otherwise engaged (contract work, homework or chores of their own) will be of assistance. It is expected that ds will offer his help without prompting and without being told. If a need is seen then it is expected that you will do what needs to be done to fill that need.

For the most part I am able to manage a good portion of the household duties myself. I work from home doing child care and this allows me the freedom to; clean a bathroom during naptime, toss in a load of laundry, do some weeding while the kids are playing in the sandbox etc.

My son is expected to clean his room, keep common areas clear of his stuff,do his own laundry once per week (I will grab his stuff if I need to fill a load), feed the pets, shovel the walks, do soil prep for the vegetable garden and dig out new beds. It is expected that he will fill in any need that presents itself without prompting. It is also expected that he will ask how he can be of assistance if he sees his father or I working and isn't sure how he can be of help.

Helping with chores and serving the famly are expected as a member of the family and not something that we pay him for.

As far as what I do: Most housework tasks fall to me.

Meal preparation
meal planning
budgetting
bill paying
grocery shopping
dusting
organizing
vacuuming
washing floors
washing windows
laundry
ironing
cleaning the bathroom
dishes (no dishwasher)
weeding
yard preparation
pruning and trimming
raking
watering
planting/harvesting (vegetable garden)
errands
running ds to practices, rehearsals and lessons
Helping where help is needed

Dh:
Yard work
home repair/maintance
breakfast (hot meal 6 days per week)
car maintance
shoveling
Helping where help is needed

Ds:
Cleaning room
making bed
keeping his stuff picked up in the common areas
taking out trash
taking out recycling
feeding pets
shoveling
prepping soil for vegetable garden (turning beds, working in manure etc..)
preparing two meals per week
Helping where help is needed.

stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 10:52am

I like the idea of stepping up where needed but I can't see the boys doing that since DH has never done that. Wow-would be nice though and perhaps if Id started that way from the beginning?

I dont think allowance should be tied to chores and DH does so we have 'compromised'. DSs are/were expected to do some things as part of the family duty(laundry, cleaning)and others are payable acc/to each time they do them(lawn care0

Sometimes marital harmony wins hands down :)

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 2:29pm

There's just 2 of us in my household, so ds15 and I don't dole out chores, so-to-speak. Not anymore. Although, just over the years, we have seemed to aquire "my" and "his" jobs. Ds15 takes out the trash. He vacuums. His room is his. His bathroom is his, mostly, although I do pick up the toilet cleaning in there. :) During the summer, he'll mow the front yard, and usually I will mow the back yard.

I cook. I do the grocery shopping (although I don't really think kids see that as a "chore"). I clean the kitchen. I dust. I feed and water the pets (but he walks the dogs). My bedroom and my bathroom are mine. Laundry is mostly mine, but he has to hang, fold, and put away his clean clothes. Oh...and I make ALL the money!!! LOL Every thing else, we just do as someone gets around to it.

I will also vacuum or take out the trash sometimes and he will cook or clean the kitchen sometimes. If I'm behind on the laundry or he needs something in particular to wear, he'll wash it himself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2007
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 4:11pm

Our daughter has chores and they are listed out on a daily/weekly list, us parents do not have written chores, but I do the laundry and dishes 4 days out of 7, we both pitch in
to clean, vac. etc. the house on weekends, Dad does most of the outside chores.

She complains too, but that's because she wants to be on the phone, chatting on the computer or to hang out with her friends instead. We give her 20.00 every two weeks, cheap but a bit of incentive since we take care of all her needs.
I remind her when she 'whines' that I do this and this and this, and that her list is shorter than that. I only work 20-25 hrs. a week.

Also, if we have to get on her too many times to do something, we let it go that week and she won't get paid the full 20.00 and if it's mostly that she didn't do anything those 2 weeks she gets nothing, sometimes including no weekend activites, and she doesn't like that!