Youth Group Challenge
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| Thu, 06-08-2006 - 12:16pm |
Well, I could have predicted this one back in December. Here goes ... I think it's gonna be a long one ...
About three years ago, DH and I made the decision to visit other churchs other than the one we belonged to and were active in, because we were concerned with the direction in which the church was headed. (Letting the youth directors 'go' so their salaries could be used to purchase high-end, and imo unnecessary, appliances for the new church kitchen.)
We bounced around for quite a while, stayed with a couple churches for month at a time, but never really found one that was home. I was especially concerned about this because I really wanted DD to find and get involved with a youth group. She went to a few activities at one church, but never really felt welcome there even though a large number of the group were students at her school. At another church (one of those mega-gigantic ones) with an enormous and hugely active youth group, she was intimidated by the size and wouldn't even attend Sunday school. Neither child would actually. They were both quite happy to stay in the sanctuary with me and DH. The service and music at this church are excellent so they enjoyed them as much as we did.
Anyway, back in November, DD asked if we could return to our old church for the holidays. I wasn't at all sure what drove that request but we did and there we still are. Both kids are now involved in the youth group. There are new directors now (being paid, I assume) who bring their two small boys (6? 7?) and the group is quite tiny. A handful of middle-school boys, two 7th grade girls who attend only sporadically, and three sr high kids -- DD and two 16yo boys. Because the group is so tiny, they all meet together. Until recently, DD said she didn't mind because she like the leaders so much.
Well, things haven't been going so well. The ms boys get out of control just about every week. The hs boys then lower themselves down to that level (instead of being role models) and it turns into one big, loud free-for-all with boys wrestling, horsing around and being knuckleheads. DD said they don't really even try to sit down and do activities or have a discussion anymore. The younger boys just can't handle it. One Sunday the older boys were throwing a record album around (taken off the wall that was being used as a decoration) as a frisbee and hit DS in the face, slicing his lip and face right open. He still wears a scar from that.
This is DS' first experience with a youth group and he doesn't quite know what to do or how to act. He wants to fit in, so he goes the loud knucklehead route, or starts pestering DD, which annoys her no end and they both come home mad at each other.
Being the only hs girl is also discouraging for DD. While the two ms girls welcome her very warmly when they do attend, they are just orbiting in different galaxies. For example, last night the two girls got into a water fight at the drinking fountain, DD was playing catch with the leaders' boys and DS was doing something loud and obnoxious. That was how they spent their evening. I'd almost have preferred them both to stay home.
I need to find something else for DD. Unfortunately, because she chose an out-of-district hs and has a much more demanding academic load, she has lost contact with the majority of her ms friends and her new hs friends live miles away. We live in a Dullsville with a bunch of unfriendly and clique-y people. I don't want her to spend her summer alone with me or all those stupid AP Euro textbooks. She would like to find another group too, but knows how hard it is to walk into one as a 'new kid', fit right in and get involved -- it can be overwhelming, even for the most confident teen.
Help? Any suggestions?

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I think it would be a wonderful idea for her attend a new youth group with someone else. The way our pastor worked it when we were younguns' changing churches was he called around, found one with a Sunday School that we would fit in with, called the Sunday School teacher. She was having a chili supper at her home for the class so she called and invited us to come. She called another young couple and asked them to call me as well. We met up with and went together - it was wonderful. But once again we were a couple and not going alone. So having her go with this other girl might be good. It might good for them to meet and hang out together first though.
I am very impressed that she wants to have a non-catholic youth fellowship at school. You are right it will be a very hard sell to the school administration but I would think that they would respect your child's right to have communion and allow a protestant preacher to come in and administer communion to them. She might have an easier time of it if she finds another one or two students (preferably honor type, well-behaved kids) to go with her and present this as a group. Also, it would probably fly a little better if they already had a teacher/parent willing to sponsor this. Maybe even have some sample literature available to show the administration. My Sunday School class (middle high school) just finished a wonderful series about the top 13 questions about God. It was really aimed a little older group but with a little interpretation on my part it was wonderful. The kids really loved it and learned alot. Two of my students (Methodist) attend Catholic school and they are very knowledgeable about the Bible and had some very difficult questions during the lessons. It really helped me as a teacher to have them in the class. I think if she puts together a plan including other possible members, sponsor, material to be studied, etc the school will come much closer to accepting the idea however try to prepare her for defeat, they may not be willing to bend on this one.
I can tell you what I did when DD played travel softball and we were gone every Sunday morning. Several of the girls expressed missing Sunday School so I would prepare a very short lesson and we would have it either in our hotel room late at night or under a shade tree between games. Sometimes girls from other teams would join us b/c they too missed Sunday School. You may consider allowing the students to form a group outside of school with different parents leading it. You might could find a couple of college students that need volunteer hours or ministerial students that need experience that could actually lead the lessons but beware it always wise for a parent to be present and to have some type of lesson in the back pocket b/c sometimes college age students aren't real reliable. Or call some of the churches in your area with a college age program and ask if they have a student or two that might be willing to volunteer a little time. A group like this would not have to be strictly non-Catholic but just non-demonational if some of their Catholic friends wanted to participate.
I think you can work this out for her it just may take a little creativity and time on your part. It's pretty awesome that's she's wanting to learn and grow in her faith and that you are encouraging her.
Good Luck and if you need any resources just go to my profile and e-mail me directly. I'm more than willing to work with you in any way that I can.
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