Yucky graphic phone sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Yucky graphic phone sex?
50
Tue, 01-29-2008 - 8:16pm
Where's the "Ew, gross!" icon?? OMG -I've seen similar issues addressed, but did think I'd be the one writing about it. My 16 year old DS recently started dating a 14 year old girl. They talk and text a LOT - and I started monitoring his text messages. By the way, he knows in theory that I "might" be doing this, but I don't think that he knows I really DO. Anyway - these two have been texting some pretty graphic stuff! Like wow - burn-my-eyeballs-out type of stuff that has made me wish I never even saw it! But see it I did, so I'm trying to figure out what to DO with it. I haven't told him what I know, but I *HAVE* been initiating discussions on sexuality and boundaries and what is or isn't appropriate. The question is - do I have some sort of moral imperative to let the girl's mother know about this?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-1998
Tue, 01-29-2008 - 8:55pm

*sigh*

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 1:09am
I'd let the girl's mom know. While it's true some parents want to look the other way or believe their angels could never do wrong, I know I'd want to know if I were that girl's parents; and it's the right thing to do, especially when the girl is only 14.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2008
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 7:01am
I'd rather my son be doing that than the real thing! with so many teens doing that these days consider yourself lucky
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 7:51am
I would probably be more upset with my own child for not putting a kabash on that kind of conversation. Remember it takes two to keep a conversation going. I wouldn't tell the girl's mother or expect that she should monitor her dd. I would focus on my own child's role in the problem.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 7:58am

Unfortunately, not all parents *want* to know such things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 8:18am

Don't be shy about talking about this with your DS...it gets easier...as for monitoring his text msgs, well, that's a personal choice...as long as I'm paying the bills I maintain the right to investigate, but I do it rarely. I trust them and want to respect their privacy but they have to know that I can and will check things out

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 8:25am
I've done the "talk to all the kids myself" thing too - and that tends to get me farther than anything... though it can backfire on occasion too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 8:28am
True that, nothing is 100%. But at least I feel like I'm doing something, you know?...especially if one of mine is involved! Sounds like the girl you mention was a real attention hog, huh? They just don't realize how it looks from the other side.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 8:33am
hmm...see, my thought is that this is more likely to LEAD to the real thing! Getting each other all hot and bothered is going to break down those walls of inhibition, I think. And yes, I realize that he could "put a stop to it" but I don't think either of them WANTS to stop, so that is why I'm thinking that it might need some adult intervention. And I'm concerned about the girl because she is SO young, and I'm thinking that since she's the one that initiated it, she's no stranger to this kind of behaviour. Clearly her mother doesn't have a CLUE since she's told the girl she can't even date until she is 15!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 12:24pm

I have this feeling that if you tell the girl's mom (assuming she's not someone you already know), she will just blame the older boy and have this "not my innocent DD" kind of reaction.

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