Teen sex and parent ground rules

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2011
Teen sex and parent ground rules
90
Wed, 08-24-2011 - 4:49pm

I am looking for some thoughts on the subject of setting ground rules, and opinions on how others would have handled my situation.

Shortly after my DD turned 13, she attended a family gathering, bringing her "partner", a 14-year old boy she introduced as her "boyfriend".

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2011
Fri, 08-26-2011 - 11:16am

Regarding "..parents that make it easy for their kids to have sex..."

Well, the way I see it, the primary duty of a parent is to ensure that his/her children grow into a healthy, well-balanced individuals, capable of dealing with the challenges of life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Fri, 08-26-2011 - 11:24am

LOL we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one! I'm firmly convinced that the vast majority of parents do the best they can to raise their kids into responsible, self-sufficient adults. And despite our sometimes clumsy efforts the vast majority of kids achieve that goal! There are lots of different parenting methods, different personalities of kids, etc. IMO no one way is 'right' or 'wrong'. Hope you have a great weekend!

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 08-26-2011 - 2:25pm

Well honestly I don't think anyone under the age of 16 (which is a minimum, maybe really a few years older)

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Fri, 08-26-2011 - 4:47pm

<<<>>

What is preferable, is that they do NOT have "privacy", ANYWHERE.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2011
Sat, 08-27-2011 - 9:46am

>> What is preferable, is that they do NOT have "privacy", ANYWHERE

Sorry, but to me that sounds like wanting something to go away by pretending it does not exist.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Sun, 08-28-2011 - 5:25pm

Dear Marthas dad.

You asked what should you have done?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sun, 08-28-2011 - 11:08pm

Just want to add that

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Mon, 08-29-2011 - 8:24am

I do know that different countries/cultures have different views of teen sex, which is probably part of the reason that you may feel that many here aren't quite on the same page with you. Most of the people on this board are from the US, a couple from Canada. We had exchange students from Germany for a month each when they boys were in high school and they went to Germany for a month. Our neighbor had an exchange student from Germany for a whole year. From what I could tell their culture has a much more permissive view of teen sex. The girl that lived with my neighbor told Justin and his buddy that over there you lose your virginity to someone you care for at about 14 and after that you sleep with a different boy each weekend. She thought it was so odd that she wasn't allowed to have the boys she met at the local high school sleep over. When Justin was over there his exchange partner was allowed to have girls come spend the night. They also have a much more laid back view of smoking - the whole family, including the 11 year old sister would go out to the back patio to smoke. It was quite different than what Justin was used to but that's what the whole program was about - to experience a different culture. Although I'm glad he didn't take up smoking or sleeping around at that point... I don't think it makes one culture better or more right than the other, just different. There's also the other extreme where a teenage girl can be put to death for having sex.

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Mon, 08-29-2011 - 10:45am
Our thoughts and prayers are with Wyatt and his family.

Love,

Kimmy

PS: Love these words on the web site, "... can be corrected with surgery."
Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Mon, 08-29-2011 - 11:26am
Hugs to Wyatt and his parents, not something to have to go through so early on. I hope the surgery goes smoothly!
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