Anyone ever actually kick out their Teen?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2011
Anyone ever actually kick out their Teen?
44
Tue, 06-28-2011 - 3:11pm

I have an 18 yr old son who just graduated HS and although he was accepted to a good school, he is now refusing to go b/c he wants to stay near his GF (who is still in HS)....he has refused to get a job since March, and I finally had to tell him that his obsessiveness over the GF (Texting 24/7 literally...and spending every possible second together) is not going to be tolerated and that if he's not going to college, that he will have to have a FT job by the 16th or he will have to find somewhere else to live and find some other way to pay for a cell phone.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Tue, 06-28-2011 - 8:13pm

If you really think he's depressed, haul him to the doctor, or even the ER against his will

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2011
Wed, 06-29-2011 - 8:37am

Thanks for the suggestion....I will talk to his dad (my EX) about possibly bringing him to the ER, but I am not sure that they would see him if he refuses since he is 18.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Wed, 06-29-2011 - 9:21am

Sorry you're going through this. I do agree that your ds needs a good dose of reality. Have you sat down and talked to him about what his plans are for the future? If he hasn't been out looking for a job at all it may be a bit unrealistic for him to have a full time one in 2 1/2 weeks - are you really prepared to kick him out and change the locks at that point? Especially if you fear he's depressed?

Pam
Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 06-29-2011 - 9:44am
Any chance you can ask his gf if she would help you get him help?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2011
Wed, 06-29-2011 - 10:28am

I have tried to talk to him about his future...all he says is he doesn't know what he wants to do, and he doesn't feel like he's ready to go to college (i.e. he wants to stay home near the GF).

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2011
Wed, 06-29-2011 - 10:30am

I tried talking to the GF and so far no change, despite her saying she'd talk to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Wed, 06-29-2011 - 11:01am

With depressed teens, there is some ability to focus, just not on work or any task requiring concentration. My daughter was able to play the piano with no problem, and she could still write poetry, but when it came to actually trying to read something challenging, she couldn't retain it until her medicine started working. This sounds like a cop-out, but once the meds began working, it was like night and day.

Check the laws where you are. I think in most states, you can intervene for an adult family member. I also agree with the suggestion to get the GF involved.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 06-30-2011 - 2:25am
StressedMominVA wrote:

Oh, and as far as being prepared to kick him out....I don't think any parent is EVER prepared for that.....I lie awake at night sick about it, but am at my wits end as to what else to do at this point and feel it is the only way to seriously get the message across that I'm not willing to put up with his attitude and laziness!


If it's any consolation... the last week of February I gave my 26 y/o DS until May 1st to find himself a new living situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2011
Thu, 06-30-2011 - 9:11am

Thanks Bunnirose!

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Thu, 06-30-2011 - 11:55am

The GF is a CHILD, without the wisdom or maturity to help anyone, and her parent isn't far off, IMHO.

Pages